


We Don't Talk About It

by justimagine18



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Adult Content, Alcohol, Anorexia, College, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fanfiction, Frat Boy Harry Styles, daily life, lifestyle, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 41,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26102740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justimagine18/pseuds/justimagine18
Summary: With winter break over, Audrey Kipling is eager to return for her second semester of senior year at Banksmith University. Over the last three and a half years, Audrey has made a home here, with her friends becoming the family she always longed for. A new year, a new semester, but the beginning of an end; Audrey had to make the most of every minute she had left, as time was fleeting and everything would soon change. She wants to hold on to the happiness for as long as she possibly could, making a memorable last few months. However, when Audrey meets Harry Styles at the bar one night, she never could have anticipated what those memorable months would mean...
Relationships: Harry Styles/Audrey Kipling
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first story and I am so excited to share!  
> The story is based on true experiences that I have been through and most remain the same, but some are changed for plot purposes!
> 
> The first part is mainly building Audrey's character for the reader to understand why she acts the way she does. The boys come in regularly starting at Chapter 7, and Harry and Audrey's relationship take off soon afterwards.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! This story can be found on WATTPAD AS WELL. -> @justimagine18

January 14, 2018 - Sunday

"Honeys, I'm home!" Audrey opens the front door, letting in the chill of the frosted mid-January air. Her four other roommates are already back and in the living room of their off campus house. A feeling of comfort overwhelms Audrey, and she knows she is truly home when she sees their smiling faces.

"Shut the door, bitch! It's cold!" exclaims Nikki, "And get the hell over here! We missed you!". Nikki is a small, blonde girl with a big personality and also the roommate Audrey is closest with. Their friends tease that Nikki is the mini-me of Audrey; with Nikki standing at just 4'11" and Audrey, also blonde, at 5'10".

"Long time, no see," laughs Maggie, bundled up with a glass of wine and a furry, white blanket in the corner chair of their living room. Typical Maggie, Audrey thinks. Sophia and Neeva were spread across the couch, with Nikki sprawled across the floor. Audrey smiled wide, and laughed to herself seeing Nikki on the floor. Their floor was comfortable; Audrey would know - she had woken up on it once or twice. It was senior year after all, and she turned 21 just a few months ago.

Maggie wasn't wrong about it not being long since they all saw each other last; the girls were just together a few weeks ago to celebrate New Years. Their New Year's Eve decorations were still up, and the golden Happy New Year balloon, that stood just as tall as Audrey, was still floating in the middle of their dining room, which connected to their living room. 'How long is that thing going to last?' Audrey thought to herself, smiling. She knew damn well they were not getting rid of that balloon until it no longer floated on its own.

Their furniture may not match, and they may not have much of it for a house a large as theirs, but they had what they needed to make it a home again - each other. Audrey dropped her bags, shut the door, and joined Nikki on the floor. It was around 8pm, and the girls began sharing stories of the last few weeks as if they didn't talk almost every day or see what each other were up to through Instagram.

Maggie, a short, fiery red-head spent her last few weeks of break with family in the Bahamas. Her tan was a bit out of place for the winter months, but complimented her red hair nicely. Maggie and her exaggerated mannerisms, went on about her old British, summer camp boyfriend she rekindled with over break. "I don't know, I was bored! We're obviously in love!" Eye rolls all around, but nevertheless, the girls wanted to know more.

Neeva was in India with family, and was still a bit drained from the jet-lag, as she had just gotten home the day or so prior to returning to campus. Sophia and her boyfriend, Cal, spent their time in Ohio with Sophia's family. Nikki stayed home in New Jersey to spend time with her parents.

This is where Nikki and Audrey differed. Nikki loved her family and she went home some weekends just to see them. Audrey, on the other hand, tried to find every opportunity she could to not be home. Her home was broken, and her friends knew it was complicated for Audrey and her mom, but Audrey knows that they could never understand the true extent, so she did not talk about her home much. Her friends never asked, as it was an unspoken bond between them all. While her friends commented on how much fun it looked like Audrey had in Disney the week after New Year's with her best friend from home, Kiera, it had really been Audrey's escape. Kiera knows about Audrey's home life and was more than willing to help Audrey escape reality for a bit, especially to Disney. Audrey loved Disney and Kiera hated the cold, so it was perfect. Audrey had just gotten back to her New York home a day before returning to their Pennsylvania campus.

Audrey tried to focus on her friends, feeling that she could finally let her guard down and relax a bit now that she was with them. It was nice to have just the five of them there, without Cal hanging around their house. Audrey felt herself slipping back into the comfort she longed for when she was away from her roommates. Audrey has never been sure what happiness was, but if this was it, that was just fine with her.

Laughing until their stomachs hurt, it was already almost midnight and the girls had recruitment prep meetings in the morning and only two more days before recruitment. Neeva had already passed out on the couch, and Audrey's eyes were closing. As much as she loved her friends and hated when nights like these ended, Audrey was exhausted from the long day of packing and long drive back to Banksmith.

As she headed up the stairs, and to her room to change into her pajamas, Audrey tried to ignore the intruding thoughts of time fleeing from right under her. Her last recruitment was beginning soon, which meant classes would start in just about a week, which meant graduation was only 17 weeks away. She was running out of time, and she wasn't sure what would happen when she did.

//

Hello!

I hope you will all enjoy my story! This is based on true events in my actual life, and most remain the same. There was a few changes, and to make it a bit more interesting. No way was my real life that fun.

Happy to answer any questions throughout the book!!

Kudos and comments please :)


	2. Chapter 2

At 7:00am Audrey's alarm blares. Audrey is excited to get back into her routine, but she wishes she could sleep just a bit longer. She doesn't have to be at the Gamma Sigma Theta house until 10:00am anyway. 

Checking her phone, Audrey wakes up to no new notifications, other than a late night Snapchat from Tilly in their LBD group. Tilly and Holly must have gotten back late last night, and Audrey is excited to see them later in the morning. 

LBD, or Lower Blue Doubles, was the original name of their group chat when they all moved into the sorority house sophomore year. The name just stuck, as the four pairs of roommates grew closer over the two years they lived in the house together with the rest of their sorority. Audrey was generally friends with everyone in her sorority, but their group of eight often dominated house events. Senior year when it was time to move off campus, the group was forced to split, but it worked out well. Tilly and Holly were roommates before joining GST, and moved in with their freshmen year friends. Tiana, Audrey's roommate of two years, was living with her fiance, and his freshmen year roommate. Though Audrey was bummed about not living with Tiana for senior year, Audrey spent a lot of her time at Tiana's place. They remained inseparable.

Getting out of bed, Audrey heads down the long hallway, passing Neeva and Maggie's rooms to get to the bathroom. After using the toilet, Audrey removes her oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts and steps on the bathroom scale. 

152.2lbs - good. Audrey is content with what she sees, and is thinking about her gym routine for the morning, when she suddenly remembers that the campus gym is not yet opened. Sorority recruitment happens the week before the rest of the campus returns for classes, so no campus facilities are opened.

Heading back to her room, the anxiety begins to creep in. If Audrey can't exercise today, she will have to restrict more than she normally does. She has a long day ahead of her and she doesn't want to battle the headache through it. Even though she isn't participating in recruitment this year because she is a Rho Gamma, she still has to attend her sorority's prep meetings for the bonding events. Later today, she will have her Rho Gamma meetings.

A text from Tiana snaps Audrey out of her own head.

"do you want to go 8am barre with me?" the texts reads. 

It's almost as if Tiana could read Audrey's mind. She was always there when Audrey needed her most, even when Tiana didn't even know. 

"yes" Audrey responds. 

"be ready by 7:40" 

Audrey and Tiana both work at the barre studio, True Barre, as receptionists. While Audrey enjoys the barre classes, she doesn't think of it as much of a workout, as she prefers to run or lift weights. Since they work at the studio, they both get free classes or can clock out and join the class during their shift. Audrey usually only takes class during her shifts, or on occasion when her knees ache so bad from the endless miles she runs daily.

Audrey gets dressed and goes downstairs to brew her morning coffee. She has just enough time to enjoy her cup of coffee and watch her Tasty snapchat stories, thinking about all the treats she wish she could let herself enjoy. This is Audrey's daily routine, as she sits by the window, or on their side porch when the weather is nice enough. She is usually at the gym or on her daily run by 8:00am every morning. She has to start her day with a workout as it is only after she feels comfortable enough to let herself eat.

Tiana pulls up and Audrey gets in the car and they make their way to True Barre. 

"Glad you're out of recruitment this year?" Audrey asks Tiana.

"Yeah, this internship has me so busy," Tiana exaggerates.

Tiana's dad had his boss write a note that she was interning the week of recruitment, so Tiana could get out of it. By senior year, almost all sorority girls become less interested with their chapters. They want their chapters to succeed, with a happy pledge class to carry the name, but almost all seniors have already checked out. Recruitment as a senior becomes a chore; forming superficial relationships with girls they will barely get to know.

This is why Audrey was glad she was a Rho Gamma. No talking to random, uninterested girls having the same conversations for four days. All she had to do was direct and guide the girls going through recruitment, while following a strict schedule. Audrey often rolled her eyes and laughed along with the complaints of her friends and other Rho Gammas, but deep down Audrey loved it.

She was a mentor, a leader, someone that these freshman girls could look up to. She remembers the feeling of being a lost freshman, unsure of what sorority life entailed. Audrey only joined a sorority cause she knew she didn't have the social strength to make it on her own at Banksmith. 

Her chapter was basically the bottom of the bottom of the made up tier system that existed at Banksmith. They weren't the hottest or the prettiest girls on campus, they didn't fit any typical sorority stereotype. They were seen as the 'diverse' chapter, not a single girl looked the same, and Audrey was proud of that. By the time she was a senior, Audrey tried to forget about the tier system, as her and her friends went to the bar rather than frat parties anyway. 

Audrey was hoping as a Rho Gamma, she could convince these girls to stick with it, especially her chapter, as they always struggled with recruitment. No one wants to be in the bottom tier sorority. Audrey had always tried to never let it bother her, bottom tier. She loved her friends and wouldn't give them up for anything, but at the end of the day her thoughts never let her forget that she is less than.

//

Yes! I was was a sorority girl. The sorority doesn't play too much of a role, but it helps build the backdrop to Audrey's story.

This first part of the book will be very descriptive, trying to give you an idea of the setting, and understanding of Audrey as a character. 

I leave it up to the reader to follow the story in their head anyway they'd like! No imagination is the same.

Kudos and comments below! :)


	3. Chapter 3

The sun shined down on the mountain and over the Banksmith Valley, with light reflecting off the snow and ice, creating nothing less of a picturesque view. It was a gorgeous winter day, frigidly cold, but the sun was shining ever so brightly. By mid-day, most would walk around with their jackets opened, embracing the cool air and shining sun.

The Gamma Sigma Theta house was located in the middle of Greek Hill - the brick mansion placed between four other mansions along the windy road up the hill. These Greek Mansions were home to the students in the Greek System, all perched on top of the hill as if they were looking down at the rest of campus. As if since you were a Greek, you were somehow an elite.

That's just how Banksmith's social world worked. A student was either a Greek, an athlete, a musician, or just a student, all divided equally among the student body. Four worlds that never really collided - Greeks partied with Greeks, athletes with athletes, and so on. There was very little cross over and this went past parties - dating, classes, even who is at the gym at what time.

At the house Audrey joins her friends on the couch, when she overhears Emma, Krew for short, talking about how she is going to go to the local LA Fitness during the week with their five day free trial pass.

Perfect, thought Audrey. She isn't totally stranded for the week harboring her anxiety. The next few days are some of the longest days she'll ever experience, but at least she have an outlet.

"Hey, Krew, if you need a ride, I'll join you at the gym."

"Sweet, that works. I need to run it out after these long fucking days. I'll text you later and we can figure it out." Krew whispers, as the chapter is being hushed by their President.

____________________________________

The day is long, and Audrey is relieved to finally be back in her bedroom alone. Her bedroom is the smallest in the house, on the other end of it away from the rest of her friends. Her furniture is left over from the fraternity guys that lived there before her. Audrey and her mom couldn't afford to buy her new furniture when she moved in last June. Plus, what was she going to do with it afterwards? When they moved in, Audrey wasn't going have a job lined up like her friends from a summer internship, and she certainly wouldn't be able to bring it back home.

Instead, she had told the frat guys that their landlord said they could leave everything, and that the landlord would trash it before the girls moved in, but Audrey told the landlord she'd be keeping some of the furniture and asked her not to trash it. She wasn't about to pay money for broken furniture in a half beaten house. Her door was scribbled on! She has a big desk, a computer chair with a broken arm rest, and a large bin for her clothes. Her closest was filled with clothes, but she really only ever wears her work out clothes anyway. She doesn't have a bed frame, so her twin mattress sits on the box spring across from the window in her room, that's always opened. Audrey is always cold, but she likes the fresh air. It helps her feel less suffocated, as her mind is constantly raging an internal war about her body.

The large mirror in her room hangs on the wall right next to the closet, spending countless hours mocking her, highlighting every flaw her body has, forcing Audrey to see herself and fueling the fire that burns in her mind.

The Audrey she sees in the mirror reminds her that she isn't good enough, the she isn't thin enough, that she will simply never be enough. That's all Audrey ever wanted to be, was enough. Enough for somebody to love her in a way she sees all her friends experience. Hook ups, dates and date parties, and yes, even heartbreak. Audrey wants it all, craving for someone to look at her, to think about her, to long for her. But on this cold, January winter night, Audrey goes to sleep alone, again, invisible in the minds of others.

//

I wanted to include this chapter to explain why Audrey feels the way she does. The story is a narrative, but is a narrative from Audrey's head.

I know, its a bit sad but I know plenty of women that go through similar situations. I wanted to make her as real as possible, she's based on myself after all.

Vote & comment below!! Any questions I can answer so far?


	4. Chapter 4

January 21st, 2018 - Sunday

Returning to their home on West 5th St., Audrey and her roommates come inside wiped out from the day's events. It was Bid Day, marking the end of their last recruitment.

In the past, they had referred to this day Christmas - the excitement of the all the work that they had done, the pride they felt for the chapter, all to introduce a new pledge class to join their sisterhood. However, this day often ended in disappointment, especially for Audrey, as she could see the lack of excitement in some of the girls that joined them, knowing they would soon drop and just rather not be in a sorority than be in a bottom tier.

Back in their house, the girls take their usual positions on the couches and the floor. By now its about 7:00pm and classes start the next day.

"I am exhausted." groans Maggie, "I forgot how exhausting recruitment is, even when you're not planning it."

Audrey saw the quick wince in Sophia's face, as Maggie was the one to replace her when Sophia's position was revoked. Audrey quickly changed the subject, as all they have been talking about all week was recruitment.

"What do your class schedules look like this semester, other than Reality Television?", asked Audrey, bringing up her course schedule to see if their class rosters have been uploaded.

Since it was the last semester of senior year, the girls, except for Neeva, had more room in their schedules to take 'fun' classes and decided to take the Sociology of Reality Television together. Cal, Sophia's boyfriend, was even in the class.

"I am only taking four classes this semester. I have three of them on Monday / Wednesday, and the other on Tuesday / Thursday. No classes on Friday means Thursdays are going to be my night!" exclaims Maggie, pouring herself a glass of wine. "This semester is all about fun! It's the last time of our lives we can act like absolute degenerates with half our shit together!"

"You're not wrong there, Maggie. I am taking five classes but they're spread out pretty decently and I don't start before 11:10am any day. Not having an 8:00am for the first time is going to be life changing." says Nikki.

"I'm so jealous of you guys. My schedule sucks, I still have so many credits to complete. Not sure why I thought supply chain was my calling, but here we are." Neeva never did too well in school; it wasn't because she wasn't smart, she just was lazy and unfocused.

Audrey pulled up her course schedule. "I have Bollywood Dancing at 11:10am, followed by the Anthropology of Tourism at 12:45pm. I forgot I even signed up for that class. That's on Monday / Wednesday and on Tuesday / Thursday I have an 8:45am Level 300 Psych class then we have Reality Television at 2:00pm." Audrey navigates to her class roster.

Sophia starts talking about her schedule, but Audrey isn't really listening. Audrey is too focused on making sure there is at least one person in her classes that she knows, since none of them are major lectures where she can be anonymous. Audrey isn't one to strike up a conversation with someone she doesn't know. She didn't mind participating in discussions, but engaging in conversations wasn't her strong suit. She's always been like that, she always felt a bit out of place and could never figure out why. She's always been sensitive to others' energies, she could tell when someone wasn't interested in what she was saying. It's always been like that for her.

When Sophia finishes, Audrey tells her roommates her Tourism class is only 16 people.

"Oh my god, I only am, like, kind of friendly, with Phoebe. It's also across campus from where my Bollywood dancing class is and I have 20 minutes to get there, great!", Audrey says sarcastically, "I'm going to show up extra sweaty post-Bollywood and the class is half guys!" Audrey skims through the roster, she doesn't recognize any of the names - Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Josh Devine - except for one. Liam Payne.

"Oh fuck!" exclaimed Audrey.

"What?" they said in almost unison.

"Remember over the summer I told you about that musician, Liam Payne or whoever, at O'Malley's. His friend had gone up to Jessie, and was like 'my friend thinks your friend is cute, let's set them up' but I was way too drunk to function that night. I think we kissed? It's still all a blur."

O'Malley's is the local Irish Pub that all the seniors go to. The drinks are cheap, the music is loud, and its always too uncomfortably crowded. During the day it's a normal restaurant, and at night it becomes a sweaty dump of over worked, over stressed, horny, drunken 20 and 21 year olds. But over the summer, it is much less crowded since only about 1/8 of the Banksmith student body stays for summer courses and only half that amount goes to the bar.

Audrey lived in their house over the summer with her little, Leah, and Neeva. Neeva was taking classes, Leah was interning at the lab, and Audrey had an internship at the hotel and casino across from campus - the Sands. Audrey wasn't 21, but her friend, Jessie, who was also at Banksmith for the summer, gave Audrey her cousin's fake ID. Somehow, all summer, Audrey got away with getting into O'Malley's with a fake ID that wasn't even her. She's not sure if the bouncer just didn't care, or what, but O'Malley's over the summer was much more relaxed than when the entire Banksmith senior class is there. Just some locals and a few college kids.

Audrey received confused looks from her friends, except from Neeva who remembered the story well.

"Audrey blasted 'If We Ever Meet Again' by Timbaland for almost a week after this night when Jessie told Audrey what happened." laughed Neeva.

Except Neeva didn't know the extent of Audrey's feelings. 'If We Ever Meet Again' was a silly joke that Audrey put on a laugh with her friends. When the night was done and the laughs were over, Audrey returned to her room. Glory, Flare Guns, Your Shirt all poured into headphones as she lay in bed trying not to audibly cry over a boy she didn't even know. She knew she wasn't upset over him, she was upset with herself. She cried over the scenarios she imagined in her head and hated herself for how it played out. It seems silly, but to Audrey it was very real.

"Oh okay, this is that musician from my 21st birthday, remember?"

Then it clicked in their heads and Audrey freaks.

"Oh my god, I was told I made out with him. Then left. Apparently, I cried about him the entire way home. And now he's in my class. I wonder if he remembers me; God I hope he doesn't."

They all laughed at Audrey and Audrey faked a smile and joined in.

"Stop being so dramatic! Who cares! He's a stupid boy, he was probably just as drunk that night." Nikki hits Audrey on the shoulder.

"Yeah, you're probably right. I don't know, I just - I just hope its not awkward. It shouldn't be too bad, considering I don't remember any of it."

But Audrey knew it was going to be bad.

Her friends went on with their conversation, and Audrey tuned them out while she looked at Liam on Facebook. A few of the other guys, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson, were tagged in a few of his photos. Great, wonder if they were all there too.

Around 9:00pm, Audrey told her friends she was calling it a night and that she wanted to get her shit together for the first day of classes. Audrey was only half up the stairs when her mind started racing. She got to her room, shut the door, and put on her pajamas.

If I get up at 7:00am, be at the gym by 8:00m, finish and be home by 9:15am, I could shower and get ready by 10:00am, leaving me an hour before I have to get to class. You skipped the gym Friday and Saturday this week, you idiot. You've had to put in the extra work today and now tomorrow to make up for it, which means arms and legs tomorrow. At least you'll get a little more movement taking Bollywood Dancing and walking to classes again.

Audrey's inner voice was relentless. Planning every moment of her day down to the minute, calculating every calorie that was going to enter her body the next day. If something unexpected came up, it was difficult for Audrey to manage.

Egg whites tomorrow at 10:00am it is. Liam Payne is going to see you for the first time, in God only knows how long, and he's just going to remember the fool you made of yourself, twice. All of his friends know and I'm sure they're going to be laughing at you after class too.

What Audrey's head didn't tell her was that Audrey was sick. That Audrey has been sick since Spring semester of their Junior year.

Audrey picked out her outfit, black work out leggings with mesh cuts on the thigh, with the new Sigma Gamma Theta bid day tank and her Banksmith University sweatshirt, that was two sizes too big, but felt just right to Audrey.

She crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep.

//

Any questions so far? Comments? 

I am very opened to discussing what was changed from my life for story purposes vs what remained true!

Vote & Comment below!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT AND EATING DISORDERS

March, 25th, 2017 - Saturday

Audrey stumbles home alone again. Her heels click on the pavement as she walks alone in the cold, March air back to the Sigma Gamma Theta house, it was 2:45am.

She takes out her phone and takes a snap with a big smile to send to her friends. She isn't sure why she thought they'd care or even probably be awake. Its not like any of them thought twice when they saw her leaving the party.

"She's fine, she can make her own decisions."

Anthony Dean, a first name, last name kind of guy. Anthony Dean, he was a year younger, but that was okay with Audrey, she made exceptions. She had been eyeing him at the gym for quite awhile and they finally had a party with Phi Theta Sigma.

Audrey always went to the gym, not for weight loss or any health reasons, it was something to do. She enjoyed the elliptical and she often read while on it. It was easy for her to stick her head phones in and lose her head in a book, but every once and awhile she glanced to the weight floor, where she hopelessly gazed at some of the guys below her. The school gym was separated, with weights on the ground floor and cardio machines above, but it was an opened concept and all the cardio machines looked down to the weight floor.

But something changed in Audrey that night. Something broke.

After sending the snapchat to her friends, hoping one of them would notice the fake smile, Audrey felt herself going numb. She wasn't upset, she wasn't happy, she literally felt nothing.

The scenes of her most recent hook up replayed in her mind over and over again as she slowly walked home.

_______________________________________________________

His roommate was home so they couldn't go in his room. They ended up in the fraternities' billiards and bar room, on a half beaten leather couch. Except they weren't really even on the couch; they were on the couch and the ottoman. The ottoman where slimy frat guys probably spilled all kinds of liquid on, or kicked their drunken feet on after a dirty frat party.

Anthony Dean, a guy she just met less than an hour ago, were getting hot and heavy in between a couch and foot rest. Sexy. They made out for a bit at the party, and well, now they were there.

Scenes of him pulling her shirt up and pulling down her skirt, as she struggled to undo his pants because of the position they were in filled her brain. He wasn't even kissing her, he barely even looked at her. There was no denying this, the lights were still on.

It was almost like he was trying to make this end as fast as he could when he got a look at her in the light. She was only a little taller than him, and suddenly felt like she had 100lbs on him.

It was in that moment, she let go of all expectations and feelings she had imagined this moment would be while eyeing him for weeks at the gym.

She only mentally checked back in, when the ottoman and the couch they pulled together, separated and her ass fell to the floor with her upper back still on the couch and her legs still on the ottoman. He soon finished, standing up to put his clothes back on. Audrey got up and got dressed herself.

Silence.

"Let me walk you out," he said.

Silence. Nothing but the sounds of her heels clicking down the stairs and some inaudible beats blasting somewhere else in the house.

"Thanks, hope you enjoyed yourself. See you around." Audrey said.

The door shut behind her.

_____________________________________________________

Audrey made it back to her room, where Tiana was sleeping. Omar, Tiana's fiance was there too. Both sound asleep wrapped in each others arms.

Audrey, almost lifeless, going through nothing but the motions, put on her pajamas, brushed her teeth, washed her face, and crawled into bed.

When she woke up the next morning, the numbness remained. Audrey laid in bed all morning, which is very out of character for her. Tiana and Omar just figured she was hungover and tired from getting home so late, and didn't really think anything of it.

When Audrey finally forced herself out of bed, she called her mom to wish her a happy birthday. Her mom asked if everything was okay and Audrey just said she was tired and had a lot of work to do, and that she didn't sleep well the night before.

Audrey was tired, but she wasn't hungover. She thought she'd wake up feeling embarrassed from what happened the night before, but she truly felt nothing.

She knew this time wouldn't be different. Anthony Dean would never call her. He would never talk to her again, he probably wouldn't even look her way.

This is how it worked for Audrey. One night stands were all she knew and she couldn't figure out why they never came back. She knew that sleeping with a guy once wouldn't magically lead to a relationship, but she didn't understand why they wouldn't at least try to even booty call her again.

She watched her friends be consistently booty called by multiple guys throughout the weekends, some they would even see on like a normal Monday or Tuesday night, not just after a party. Sometimes these guys would end up asking her friends to their date parties or formals or her friends would take the 'guy they're hooking up with' to theirs.

Not Audrey, never Audrey. It was always a friend of hers and she was never asked to one.

Tiana did set her up once with a guy Audrey thought was cute, but he got too drunk at her formal. They still slept together, but he never bothered to talk to her again. His frat was top tier, Audrey knew it was a pity thing.

She watched her friends be chased and desired, while Audrey was not.

This has happened one too many times to Audrey. She feels as if she had to give herself to anyone that shows a sliver of interest and when she did, they act as if it never happened. As if she was invisible.

Nothing.

'What's wrong with me?' Audrey melted in front of her mirror, alone in her bedroom.

The mirror stared back at her and her reflection told her all she needed to know.

From that day on, Audrey slowly started to fade away. She was there physically, going through the motions, putting on her best face in front of her friends.

Inside, Audrey was numb. She felt nothing but emptiness. She started running daily, every morning, followed by an intense weight training routine. She was up early enough that the gym wasn't crowded so no one was there to watch her fumble with the weights when she first started.

Her friends applauded Audrey for her sudden health kick. Audrey opted for healthier options when she was with her friends, but when she was alone, Audrey didn't opt for any options. She knew she had to eat something in front of her friends, or they'd get worried.

But then she asked herself, would they though? They couldn't tell that she's been faking it. That she's putting herself through grueling daily workouts, then not fueling her body the way a 20 year old should be.

They don't realize she's stopped going out? She's so tired all she can think about is sleep.

By May, none of Audrey's clothes fit. They hung off her waist, they fell past her butt. She was fading and her friends were applauding her.

"You eat so healthy!" "You look so good"

Every calorie carefully calculated. Every bite precisely planned. The obsession with her weight took over every thought.

Not one person asked if she was okay, and she feared if they did, she would really break.

Audrey went home for a week and a half between her last final and the start of her internship and moving into her off campus house.

She watched her mom cry in the dressing room where Audrey was trying on new office clothes.

"What did you do to yourself?" her mom cried.

Audrey got angry, lashed out her mom, screaming that most parents encourage their children when they make a lifestyle change and that they don't yell at them.

That's what this was, a lifestyle change. Audrey didn't have a problem, she was getting healthy.

So she told herself, dissociating between her brain and reality.

That summer she started her first internship. That summer she also started drinking again, learning that she couldn't drink the way she drank before.

Learning the hard way with Liam Payne. Being too drunk to even remember what had happened, she laughed it off with Neeva, Leah, and Jessie.

Audrey took the Liam situation so personally, because if she wasn't so broken, this wouldn't have happened. She could have had a conversation with him. Just maybe actually have gotten to know him, there weren't many people there over the summer. Maybe if she was normal, Liam would have try to pursue her. If she wasn't ready to throw herself off the edge at any minute, maybe things could have been different.

It was like Audrey was in a constant out of body experience, except her voice was trapped inside and she was watching herself from the inside out. She was watching herself be a victim to these toxic behaviors and was screaming to stop, but the other voice inside her head had taken control.

Soon the hot summer began to cool, and her roommates moved in ready to begin senior year.

Audrey had to adapt to the changing dynamics, but by now she was a pro at the smoke and mirrors she put it on. It was a performance, and she was the star.

She hadn't given a piece of herself up to anyone since that night in March, telling herself that it was a good thing. That she was maturing.

In reality, no one was there to give herself to and even if they were, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Her breasts had turned to nothing but skin, her belly was always bloated, convincing Audrey that she was even fatter than before. She couldn't show herself like this to any guy, even if someone wanted to see her.

By the time fall date party had come, Audrey had no viable suitors, and chose to take her friend Jake. She had taken him to her Spring formal, they kissed goodnight, as playful friends do, so she didn't think much of it.

Their friends teased that the two of them would get married one day, and they always bickered back, but deep down Audrey kind of wished that would be the truth. She was comfortable with Jake and she thought, maybe, just maybe, she saw something in his eyes too when he looked at her.

Fall Date Party changed this - Jake and Audrey hooked up. Jake wanted to sleep with Audrey but she refused. She said she didn't want to 'ruin their friendship', but she really didn't want to show herself to Jake, of all people. She couldn't let him see how distorted she'd become, not just on the outside. He laughed it off, they made out some more while he held her close.

When they were together that night, she felt herself slowly climbing up the black depths of inside her. Maybe she was drunk, but she felt like herself for just a minute.

A week later, he asked the girl he hooked up with occasionally to be his girlfriend.

Audrey was shattered. She felt like a used toy. Someone that was supposed to be one of her best friends, blatantly used her. She couldn't have imagined how she would have felt if she slept with Jake that night. If she had given him a piece of herself, whatever little pieces she may have had left. Even worse, she had known Jake before she changed, and he had never shown any sexual interest in her. But now, after losing 30lbs in 6 weeks, and fighting a war with herself everyday for the past 6 months, just to lose one more pound or terrified to see the scale budge, he suddenly wanted to sleep with her.

Audrey was broken.

Wow. This chapter was exceedingly hard for me to write. Though its been a few years, the feelings and emotions are still fresh in my mind. I took myself right back to that place and time.

It's sad, and I hope you all are okay after reading. Please reach out if you are struggling with anything. My PMs are opened!!

Kudos & Comment below!!!


	6. Chapter 6

January 28th, 2018 - Monday

7:00am, Audrey's alarm clock blares loudly, as she cracks open her eyes to the rising sun shining through the blinds of her window.

It'a the first day of classes. This is it, this is the really the beginning of the end. Only 16 weeks left at her beloved home in the Banksmith Valley with the people she grew to call family.

Getting out of bed, Audrey tries to shut out the reminding thoughts that her time there is coming to an end, or that she has to see Liam fucking Payne again today. Instead, she tries to focus on the bit of excitement she feels for the first day of classes.

Audrey didn't just love Banksmith because of her friends, she loved learning. Audrey has always loved school, she loved to learn, she loved to read, and she was always good at it. The endless nights in the library, putting in her headphones and ignoring the world around her and focusing on what was in front of her. She loved that.

Audrey's major was psychology, with a sociology and anthropology minor. Even though Audrey enjoyed it, she knew she wanted to learn more while she was there. She chose to graduate with a Bachelors of Science degree. This introduced her to biology, chemistry, and even an environmental science class. Audrey had to take some math classes as a requirement, but she didn't mind, she really liked statistics. She was never great at math, but she wasn't bad at it either, and statistics made sense to her.

Heading to the bathroom, Audrey began thinking about her routine at gym. She was a little nervous, since it was a new semester and class schedules changed. She didn't know who was going to be there at 8:00am, and she wouldn't know who would be there at 10:00am tomorrow. The campus gym doesn't open until 7:30am, and Audrey has an 8:45am on Tuesdays/Thursdays. That's not enough time for Audrey, and that's a long time for her to go without any sustenance, but she'll have to make do. Audrey will adapt, she would have to. She couldn't gain the weight back.

152.01lbs - Audrey was content. If the scale had gone up, Audrey knew that her whole day would be ruined. Her mood is directly related to her weight and what she eats. One wrong move and Audrey shuts down, and if she isn't able to work it off immediately, she restricts twice as hard the next day.

Going downstairs to brew her morning coffee, Audrey's house is silent , the way she likes it.  
She enjoyed the mornings alone. It gives her time to plan her days.

Finishing her coffee and her daily Tasty snapchat story, Audrey makes her way upstairs to change into her gym clothes. She peaks out her window, there's a little bit of snow on the ground, but the roads are clear and the sun is shining.

Getting dressed, grabbing her jacket, and gathering her things she makes her way to the campus gym. It's a short walk; and she knows it takes exactly 7 minutes to get there. She walks through the empty parking lot across the street, walking by her neighbors house, who's front door faces theirs.

The backyard has an old, beaten up green couch, partially covered in snow, and the yard is littered with Natty Light cans peeking out of the snow.

Boys, udrey rolls her eyes. It occurred to her she's been walking this way everyday for the last 6 months, and she has no idea who her neighbors are that live there. Their houses are on the corners of a four-way intersection.

Across from Audrey's window, and one of the four corners, is a house full of men's soccer players that her and her friends have never spoken to. Their windows align like that Taylor Swift music video, and she secretly wishes she could reenact it. Wishing that maybe, just maybe he got a glimpse of her through the window.

But she did get a glimpse of the guy in that room - naked. He must have not realized his blinds were up and the light was on. Audrey tried not to stare when she was sitting at her desk, but she's only human.

Diagonally across the street from her house, was a house of frat guys. At least it wasn't one of their party houses.

Attached to their house, was a whole other house, the mirror opposite of Audrey and her friend's. Girls from their sorority lived in that half, letting them switch off the pregame house occasionally.

The house next door to them, similar to theirs was one house with two separate living spaces in the house. She was friendly with the frat guys that lived there since a few of them were there over the summer, but they all barely interacted. They were top tier, a different world from Audrey and her friends.

The other half of that house was a bunch of musicians, and almost all of them were in acapella groups on campus. Music always blasting, with kick backs always happening in their backyard.

Audrey didn't know any of her direct neighbors really. They were all from different worlds.

Walking through the courtyard between the Brahms Arts Center and the Baruch Business School, Audrey was almost at the gym.

The Baruch Business School was often joked about being a high school; if you were a business student, that's where you were all day. With the same people in the same classes. Audrey was glad she wasn't with douchey-Wolf of Wall Street wannabes all day, but she did envy her friends when they got to know more people, especially more guys. At least they had someone to talk to when they went to a party. Audrey didn't really know anyone, she kind of stuck to her friends, trying not to hover the conversations. Her classes were smaller, liberal arts kids, not really wrapped up in the Greek system. 

Swiping her school ID at the front desk, the student working was clearly still half asleep. No surprise there.

Audrey made her way inside, tucked her jacket in a cubby, and got on her favorite treadmill.

The gym was practically empty, again, just the way she liked it. No one had to watch the fat girl try to exercise.

Audrey's headphones were in and her world was out for a little while, as her feet pounded the track of the treadmill and she ignored the ache in her knees begging her to stop.

It was one of those days Audrey couldn't tell what mood she was in and the music she wanted to listen. She was excited, but nervous, as she really tried not to think about the moment she has to see Liam Payne again.

She settled for her On Repeat playlist on Spotify to tell her what she wanted to hear and NbHD by One Republic blared through her headphones.

//

As mentioned, there is an official playlist that I am building. It will contain all the songs mentioned in the story, but also some other songs that I think match the story well!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2u5RlvWSXerjztRKDgf5H9?si=2aqdS1e6Qj2gpg80no3VlA

Like, Meet Me in the Hallway for example. The inspiration for the title.

Kudos & Comment below!!


	7. Chapter 7

Returning home at 9:15am, exactly as she had planned, Audrey hops into the shower. The warm water feels good over her aching muscles, knowing she had to go twice as hard the past two days to make up for Friday and Saturday.

She tries to think about how she had to skip the gym, she was helping freshmen make a decision that was going to affect their entire college decision. Audrey's chapter was unknown to the girls, as that was the point of being a Rho Gamma, except she knew some of them would figure it out, just as she did with hers.

She thought about how she had to skip the gym and miss her workout because she was listening to girls cry because they had only had her chapter left. That no other chapter wanted them.

Audrey, a pro at smoke and mirrors, knew exactly what to say to comfort the girls without hinting at the annoyance and wince of pain it caused her. She gently encouraged them to give it a try before making their decision to drop out. As much as it hurt Audrey, she was in their shoes once. She cried about getting her bid to Gamma Sig, and not Tri-Phi, like she thought she would. Not good enough again, she cried, but her Rho Gammas were two top tier seniors, they wouldn't understand what it was like to feel out of place.

Getting dressed and doing her very minimal makeup routine, but making sure there was a little extra coverage, Audrey headed downstairs to the kitchen making an egg white omelette and another cup of coffee. When she walked into the dining room and Nikki was already at the table.

"GOOD MORNING!" Nikki greeted enthusiastically.

"Good morning, Nikki" Audrey said as she sat down across from her.

"What times your class?" Asked Nikki.

"11:10, it's in Brahms Arts Center. I'm like lowkey excited to learn some Bollywood dance moves."

"Oh, sweet. I have an 11:10 in Baruch; can't wait to graduate from Baruch high school this semester." joked Nikki.

Audrey smiled, but tried to ignore the thought of graduation.

"Want to leave at like 11:00?"

"Sure, that works," Nikki agreed.

"I'm really going to make an ass of myself in this class, but I'm pretty sure it's all girls except for like one guy. No surprise there."

"You'll be great! If there's a recital, I'm coming. I think most dance classes have a mini recital."

"Oh my god, I didn't even think of that."

Audrey was happy that she could spend Monday and Wednesday mornings with Nikki. Maggie and Neeva probably weren't even awake yet, and Sophia does her own thing. She's probably at morning barre class or something. Audrey realized she never listened to what classes she had, oops.

Leaving their house, the two girls were a funny sight to see if you didn't know them. One very tall blonde and one very short blonde. Two of Nikki's steps were one of Audrey's.

When they got to the courtyard, Nikki headed right to Baruch and Audrey headed left to Brahms.

Walking inside, Audrey was met with a blast of hot air.

Fuck, she forgot how hot the academic buildings get in the winter. This wasn't going to be good. Dancing in a hot building? Then practically running to her next class? Audrey better pack perfume or deodorant before Wednesday.

Today's class was quick, the teacher introduced herself, handed out the syllabus, explained the grading, and taught a few beginner moves.

Audrey scanned the syllabus and during the final week in all caps read: "RECITAL"

"Great", she whispered to her friend Melissa. Melissa laughed, but Melissa was a dancer, she was excited.

The first day is always lowkey; Audrey got out a little early and stopped at her favorite coffee shop, Cocoa's, for a coffee to kill some time.

The LBD group chat was buzzing, as Maggie panicked about over sleeping on her first day.

Maggie: How am I going to look flawless walking into class when I have to be there in 10 minutes, it's across campus, and I just woke up??

Nikki: Guess someone shouldn't of had that third glass of wine last night lol

Audrey wondered how much longer they stayed up after she went to bed.

She checked the time; 12:30pm. She better start heading to class - she has at least a 5 minute walk. She doesn't want to be too early, but she definitely wants to be there before Liam Payne.

As she walks, she checks her step count on her Fitbit, and she was well over her daily 12,000 step goal. She even picked up 10 minutes of exercise during Bollywood today.

She enters another hot building, and there's a few students already in the class. She recognized their faces, but doesn't say anything and neither do they.

Taking a seat in the third to last row, directly in the middle, Audrey pulls out her laptop and pretends to look distracted. She waits for Phoebe, who will hopefully sit next to her. They didn't connect ahead of class, Audrey just hoped she looked at the roster.

Phoebe came no more than a minute later and sat next to Audrey when she saw her.

They talked about what the did over break, and why they were taking the class - they both had the professor previously and loved her.

While they were chatting, Audrey heard voices getting close to the door, and even with her back to the door, she knew it had to be them.

Immediately recognizing the boys from the photos, Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson walked through the door. The two of them wore the same grey Banksmith acapella sweatpants with a big music note on the thigh, and their last names underneath.

Louis had on a blue sweater, his hair was scruffy and came down by his eyes, and he had just a touch of facial hair. Niall wore a matching Banksmith acapella sweatshirt, completing his groutfit. His blonde hair was styled up, in a messy quiff, with brown starting to show through.

Audrey wondered if the blonde was some type of hazing the acapella guys did.

Josh Devine walked in with Eleanor Calder. Eleanor was in Pi Gamma Tao. Pi-Gam, for short. Pi-Gam girls were mixed of bitchy or a bit weird, but they were pretty. Audrey's could see Eleanor being a bitch, but she hoped she wasn't.

Eleanor joined the guys. Probably a bitch, Audrey thought.

The four of them sat towards the front on the right. It was about 12:40pm and Professor Blume came in.

She was a young woman, and Audrey had her last semester for a different anthropology class. She really enjoyed Professor Blume and was excited to be in her class again.

She made some small talk with students asking their names and about their break as she set up the projector.

Following her, Harry Styles walked in and took a seat with his friends. Audrey thought Harry looked a bit confused, but she didn't really pay much attention to Harry; she was more focused on why Liam hadn't come in yet.

Maybe he dropped the class, she thought in relief.

And just as she had let her shoulders drop, Harry yelled out "PAYNOOO, there he is!"

"Dude, we didn't think you were going to show up," said Niall.

"We thought you got lost. Haven't you been at this school for like four years now?" teased Louis.

"Oh, shut it." Liam dapped his friends and took a seat.

Maybe he didn't notice her, her back was to the door and he sat in the seats in front of her. God she hoped so.

Professor Blume introduced herself, and asked the class to do the same.

"Let the class know your name, year, major and why you took this class."

Audrey froze. Jesus Christ, there was no avoiding this now.

Aren't we a little old for this? I'm 21 years old this isn't summer camp, thought Audrey. Professor Blume started with the left side of the room going through each row.

Audrey mentally rehearsed, practically shaking in her seat. She didn't listen to anyone's name, as she was so focused on remembering her own. Audrey wasn't afraid of public speaking and usually was active in class discussions, but when she had to do it in front of a guy she had made out with TWICE, and all his friends. That was different.

Her turn was approaching, and Audrey braced herself.

"Hi, I'm Audrey Kipling, I'm a senior, and I'm a Pyschology major. I'm a sociology and anthropology minor, and I thought this class would be interesting."

God what a fucking nerd she thought.

Audrey didn't make eye contact with anyone and she fiddled with her ring, until she felt like all eyes were off of her. But she could feel Liam's.

Goddamnit. He knew. Audrey has to get out of there. Plus, she was starving. She had a protein bar in her bag but she didn't want to draw more attention to herself.

Eleanor, Josh, Niall, and Louis went. Niall and Louis announced they were both juniors.

Harry was next, still looking a bit confused, but she realized he was charming as hell.

"... uh I'm taking this cause I need the credit" he laughed. Professor Blume was swooned, you could just tell. She didn't even mind that he basically admitted he had zero to no interest in the class.

Business major. Whatever.

Audrey's focused remained on Liam though, who was the last to go. Audrey tried to not make it obvious that she was staring, but he was turned sideways in seat at the front and could see her if he turned his head slightly.

This is so awkward, Audrey thought, and he probably didn't even care. He's just going to bullshit with his friends later about 'how he made out with that blonde girl twice but she was too drunk to function.'

She imagined them all laughing. Nice.

Professor Blume went over the syllabus and dismissed class early. Audrey tried not to make it look like she was rushing to pack up, but every second she was in this class she was uncomfortable.

Just as she stood up, Professor Blume approached her and asked how her break was and told her that was excited to see her in class again.

"Yeah, I saw you were the professor and definitely wanted to take the class."

"That's great to hear, I'm looking forward to having you again."

And just like that, Josh, Eleanor, Niall, Louis, Harry, and Liam filed out of the class.

Relieved, Audrey told Professor Blume that she was looking forward to the rest of the semester, but she had to run, she had to get to work soon.

"Great! See you Wednesday, Audrey."

Audrey walked out of the class, put her headphones in and headed to the library where she has been shelving returned books for the last three and a half years.

Lightheaded, Audrey ate her protein bar. She hadn't eaten since breakfast and by now it was just before 2:00pm. Class was supposed to end at 2, but she was glad she could start her shift early.

Heading towards the library, "If We Ever Meet Again" came on shuffle. Audrey changed it immediately.

You have to be kidding me, she thought.

//

First day of classes! What a rush this day really was.

Also, THE BOYS!!! Please hang tight with me. I know it took quite a bit to bring them into the picture, but I want to be as accurate as possible.

More to come with the boys soon :)

Questions? Kudos & Comment below!!!


	8. Chapter 8

Audrey stops by Tiana's on the way home from her shift at the library since she ended a little early. Tiana was laying on the couch when she walks in, watching some YouTube beauty vlogger. Tiana loves make up.

Audrey and Tiana were total opposites. When they shared a room, it was hard to believe those two could be friends.

Tiana's half of the room was decked out in pinks and blues, with Lilly Pulitzer print bed sheets. Her closet wasn't much different. Tiana loved make up and beauty; she always looked flawless.

Audrey's half of their room was black, with a cheetah print comforter. Her walls were decorated with concert posters from U2 and The Killers to 5 Seconds of Summer. Her closest was filled with shades of black, grey, green, and the occasional maroon. Audrey didn't really understand make up, she struggled to make her eyeliner even, and she only wore it when going out. Audrey often made Tiana do her make up for important events like date parties, even though Audrey never had a real date.

"How was your first day?" Audrey asked.

Tiana paused the video and sat up, facing Audrey on the loveseat across from her.

"It was good! I think my classes will be fine this semester; I have a few friends in each. Omar said his classes are going to be so boring since none of his friends are in any of them."

"Where is Omar?"

"I don't know. I never know where that boy is. He's probably hanging out with Dash somewhere."

Dash was Omar and Tiana's golden retriever.

"Nothing can come between a man and his best friend."

"Yeah, not even his fiancé."

Tiana and Omar got engaged sophomore year, Omar was 19 and Tiana was 18. Audrey didn't understand the rush, they had only ever been with each other, but she was happy for them. Plus, what did she know? She's never had a boyfriend.

The girls hung out for a bit longer until Tiana had to go to work. Audrey made her way home, walking back through the same parking lot, passing the same green couch and Natty cans.

She got home right after 4:00pm heading up to her room, thankful the day was a bit shorter than usual. It was syllabus week, so the days were short, which meant an endless week of parties. Monday through Saturday. But Audrey didn't really want to party tonight.

After getting organized for tomorrow, Audrey headed downstairs for dinner. By now it was around 6:00pm and everyone was home, including Cal.

Heating up some frozen chicken strips and some broccoli, Audrey joined her roommates at the dining room table, just big enough for six. Maggie grabbed a burrito from Upper Court, Neeva munched on chips and a Pepsi, barely touching her sandwich.

No one understood Neeva's eating habits, she lived on M&Ms and Pepsi most of the time. And alcohol. Neeva always went out.

Nikki had made herself some pasta with butter, and Sophia and Cal shared a pizza.

"Audrey, is your 12:45pm in Penn Lab? I think I saw you walking into your class but I wasn't sure. I have a 12:45pm there too." asked Sophia.

"Yeah, it is." Audrey answered, adding some salt and pepper to her broccoli.

"Is that the class you have with Liam Payne?" Asked Nikki.

"Oh, right! How'd that go today?" Sophia asked, biting into her pizza.

"It was fine, I guess. I think he definitely realized who I was. But nothing happened. I just felt so awkward."

"Did you say Liam Payne?" joined in Cal.

Audrey nodded.

"Payno, my guy! He's been in a few of my classes. Why was it so awkward?"

Shut up, Cal, Audrey thought.

"I've been told him and I have made out twice. Don't ask me if we did, cause I don't remember either time."

"Nice! Don't worry about it, Payno's a decent guy."

Audrey wish she could know that for herself. Instead, she'll sit in class in a state of discomfort every time. She knows she'll get over it as the semester progresses, it's just not ideal right now.

"So are we all going out tonight? It's syllabus week!" Maggie changes the subject and Audrey silently thanks her.

"Yeah, I'll go out if you guys do." answered Neeva.

"Let's make the most of it. It's our last one!"

How is Maggie always so cheerful, especially when talking about the semester ending? Audrey wants to crawl into a hole whenever they say it's 'the last'.

"I think I'm going to save it for Thursday. I want to go hard at the end of the week." Audrey lies. She doesn't want to go out tonight, and she knows she probably won't really want to Thursday, but she does want to have fun with her friends.

"Come on Audrey! You don't want to go out. It's our last syllabus week!"

"I've grown tired in my elder age. I can't keep up with the kids these days." Audrey laughs, another lie she's gotten good at.

"We're out too," Sophie answers for her and Cal, "I have a meeting with my advisor in the AM. I don't think it would be a great look to roll in a hungover mess when she helped me get my job."

Nikki, Maggie, and Neeva make their plans to go out.

Audrey heads back up to her bedroom, putting her music on shuffle and reviewing her syllabi that she's gotten so far. Audrey looks online to see if any others are posted, and begins calculating how much the textbooks are going to cost her.

$600 for the semester, are you kidding? I'm literally graduating why do I even need these?

Audrey looks at her savings account; $1,300. She wouldn't get her first paycheck from the library for two weeks. The money made from her summer internship went to straight to her rent. This is all that was left of it.

Stressed, Audrey switched to Netflix and casts it to her television. She sat on her bed and started scrolling through social media. She watched stories of the younger GST girls getting ready to go out, and she missed the days she was so carefree, so unbothered. Her and her friends had gained the sophomore 25, but not a single one of them cared. They were so young and full of life.

And they still are, except Audrey.

After a few episodes of Criminal Minds, Audrey hears her roommates' music bumping and she knows they're getting ready. She really does hope they have fun tonight, and this week. She just doesn't have the energy.

Audrey ignores her growling stomach, and tries to relax before falling asleep.  
—————————————————————————  
The rest of the days go by, and Audrey finds her new weekly routine by Thursday.

Audrey feels just as awkward as she did on Monday in her Wednesday class, but the class flies by as she focused on every breath and every fidget she made. She has no idea what Professor Blume was saying, and she just hope this feeling subsided soon.

Liam and his friends just sat there and Audrey tried not to stare. They were all so good looking, goddamnit.

On Wednesdays, she has a shift at True Barre from 4:00pm to about 8:00pm. She clocks of her shift, joining the 7:00pm fitness class, even though she ran five miles and had leg day that day.

She manages her 8:45am (T/Th) by eating her protein bar when she feels like she can't take it anymore. It gives her just enough energy for the gym, and then she goes home to shower and eat before her friends and her walk to their 2:00pm.

When class ends, they walk back home after class, they chat about going out again. It was still too cold to hang outside somewhere.

"Audrey, it's Thursday. Please tell me you're coming out. It's been so fun!" begs Maggie.

"Yeah, I am! I'm excited. Are we just going to O'Malley's or are we stopping by a party?"

"Nah, just O'Malley's tonight. No one really went this week and tonight is dollar drinks."

"Sweet, I'll get the playlist ready."

Surprised with herself, Audrey actually wasn't dreading going out. She wanted to be with her friends. She didn't have much time left after all.

The clock struck 9:00pm, and Audrey turned on her speakers, getting ready to head downstairs and pregame.

They usually left around 11:00pm to get to the bar, to have some room to get drinks before it got too crowded. Plus, Maggie was always down for a good Dollar Drinks deal, often convincing townies to buy them for her.

Audrey, dressed in her usual all black, looked in the mirror.

I guess this is what it is. No one is going to be paying attention to you anyway so it doesn't really matter.

Audrey sighs, and leaves her room closing the door behind her.

Downstairs, she makes a drink, thinking about the meal she'll skip a meal tomorrow.

She blasts "Damage" by PARTYNEXTDOOR and Halsey, as her friends join her with drinks in their hands. She laughs along with them, genuinely laughing as she feels the alcohol begin to course through her veins, but she knows these laughs have an expiration date.

Party time! Wish we could all be doing that now :( 

Hope everyone is healthy and safe!

Kudos & Comment below!


	9. Chapter 9

Tilly and Holly came over for the pregame, and the whole crew was together again, except for Tiana. After about an hour of a pregaming, Audrey and her friends grab their frackets [authors note: frackets are "frat jackets", a term used to describe an old sweatshirt worn only to parties; something you wouldn't mind losing or getting ruined] and started to make their way to O'Malley's. Audrey turned off the music, set the alarm, and closed the door following her friends. 

Audrey could feel the warmth of the alcohol circulating through her veins, which she was glad - the walk to O'Malley's wasn't long, but it was a cold January night.

Every few houses they passed was blasting music, with crowds of boys and girls gathering at the front doors. Audrey could hear laughter and cheer of happy college students through the muffled beats of the music coming from the houses.

Audrey was happy to be with her friends, feeling just a little bit normal for once. She wasn't drunk, but she felt light. She was looking forward to seeing some of her other friends. Knowing she wasn't drunk, Audrey would allow herself a double vodka Diet Coke at the bar, to drink through the night. That would be fine, she didn't have class tomorrow, and everyone would be too hungover to be at the gym before 11:00am, so she knew she could sleep in a bit.

There was no line at O'Malley's yet, so they got right in, which she was glad cause she was definitely cold now. The liquor blanket didn't stand a chance against the January chill.

Once inside, Tiana and Omar were already there with his friend, Quincy. There was a group of guys in the corner, but it was too dark for Audrey to recognize anyone. There were some people playing pool, and a few people at the back bar. The dance floor was still pretty empty, but would soon be too crowded to even move as happy, drunken seniors flood in.

Nikki got Audrey her double vodka Diet Coke, that she would hold on to, slowly sleeping throughout the night, to eventually put it down out of sight somewhere, when she decided was done with it.

Maggie ordered a round of shots to celebrate everyone being out and to toast to a great semester.

Audrey, reluctantly taking the shot, felt the burn of the vodka running down her throat. God, she hated shots. How did she use to do this regularly?

The night progressed and O'Malley's became crowded. Audrey caught up with old friends, like her freshmen year roommate, Samantha, and some other friends in her sorority. It was nice to see some other people. It made her feel good when they were actually engaged in the conversation with Audrey. But Audrey reminded herself they were surface level friends, nothing more than a drunken companion to have a laugh with.

"Hey, where's you're drunk? Want me to get you another?"

Nikki didn't leave her seat at the bar all night; she was in charge of the rounds. If you lose your seat, it's hard to get a drink when O'Malley's got too crowded.

"No, I'm good. Can you grab me a water though? I'm going to head to the bathroom."

Audrey noticed the line wasn't as long as earlier , and she started to make her way to the bathroom, when she felt someone grab her arm gently.

Audrey turned around to see a boy she didn't recognize standing behind her. Audrey looked at him, confused.

"Hey, I'm Zayn. I saw you over by the bar earlier, and I was wondering if I could buy you a drink?"

Audrey was taken back entirely. Who was this and why did he want to buy her a drink? What the fuck?

"Uh, I think I'm o-okay," she stuttered, "I think I'll just stick with water. Thank you though."

"Are you sure? If I can't get you a drink, can I at least get your name?"

"Oh, I'm Audrey. Sorry."

"It's okay, if you ever want me to buy you a drink, just let me know." Zayn turned around, and headed back to his friends.

Audrey turned around and immediately ran to the bathroom. She was so confused, why would some random guy want to buy her a drink?

When she left she rejoined her group of friends by the bar who were talking to Millie and Cherie.

"Audrey, do you know who you were just talking to?" asked Cherie, in a tone that made Audrey feel like she was supposed to.

"Honestly, I have no idea who that was. He just asked if he could buy me a drink. I don't know him at all."

"Audrey. That was Zayn Malik. I can't believe you don't know who that is!"

"Okay, and? I mean he was attractive, don't get me wrong, but I didn't want a drink. I just want water." Audrey laughed, sheepishly.

"I can't believe you don't know him. Zayn Malik signed to Columbia Records. He doesn't go to Banksmith anymore. I don't know why he's still here but he's not a student. He's literally a professional musician."

"Really? I really just wanted water, I didn't know that!"

"I don't care! When any guys offers to buy you a drink you take it. Now go over there and tell him you want a drink!" Cherie ordered.

"Go!!" Millie added pushing Audrey away.

Audrey couldn't do that, she'd never approached a guy like that. She wasn't drunk enough to carry a conversation with a boy, let alone start one. What the hell was she supposed to say?

"What are you waiting for!" Cherie yelled.

"Do I seriously have to do this?" pleaded Audrey.

"Audrey, it sounds like he's into you. It's a drink just go." Millie reassured her.

Millie was in Audrey's sorority so she knew her a little better.

"Fine, I can't believe I'm about to do this." Audrey switched to auto-pilot and suddenly she was walking towards him.

Zayn was by the bar, in the dark corner by the group of guys Audrey didn't recognize before. She could see them a bit clearer now, and realized they were all musicians, probably part of acapella.

Oi vey.

Zayn was considerably handsome. He had short, dark hair, a chiseled jaw line, and was in all black. Audrey could see the tattoos on his forearm, where his long sleeve shirt was rolled up. She could tell they went up a bit further.

For some reason, Audrey wouldn't let herself be interested. She didn't want to drink anymore, and wanted to go home. She was exhausted. But there she was walking up to him.

"Hey, so about that drink? I think I changed my mind."

"Oh really? I'm glad to hear that. What do you want?"

"Just a vodka soda please. Thank you."

Zayn passed her the drink from the bartender.

"So Audrey, you said. That's a unique name."

"Thanks, I was named after Audrey Hepburn. You said Zayn, right?"

Audrey had to somehow pretend she didn't just learn his entire story before talking to him.

"Yeah, Zayn Malik. I'm a senior, well would have been. I don't really go here anymore."

"What do you mean?" Audrey lies, pretending to sip her drink.

"Well, I was in acapella here, but I always played around with solo singing. I signed to Columbia Records last June. I leave at the end of February, so I've just been here, chilling with my boys."

Zayn points to the group of guys behind him. Audrey glanced, and she thought she recognized some of the guys from her class, but she wasn't sure. That was the last thing she needed.

"Oh, congratulations! That sounds awesome. I'm a senior too."

Zayn smiles, "You strike me as a sorority girl, am I right?"

"Yeah, Gamma Sigma Theta."

"Oh cool, I know nothing about Greek life but seems fun. I know some girls in Mu Gam."

Of course he did. That was a top tier sorority.

Confused, and at a loss for words, Audrey took a sip of her drink. She has no idea what to say. She wasn't good at small talk with boys.

"God, I'm tired. Are you staying much longer?"

"To be honest, I'm exhausted."

By now it was almost 2:00am and the bar was dying down. 

"Can I walk you home?"

What on earth was going on?

"Uh, sure," Audrey found herself saying, "let me just grab my sweatshirt."

Going towards her sweatshirt, Audrey passed her friends but Zayn was trailing behind her. She had to make this quick.

"The guy over there wants to walk me home, so I'm going to go. I'll see you guys later - I have no clue what's going on."

Just before Maggie and Nikki could tease her, Audrey headed towards where she hid her sweatshirt with the others. Grabbing it, she met Zayn at the door.

They walked back towards her place on West 5th.

"Oh, you live here?" Zayn asked.

"Yep, this is home."

"My buddies live right across the street. We also have part of the house next to yours. I was there all the time last semester." Zayn points to the house across from Audrey's. The house with the green sofa and Natty cans in the backyard.

Of course they did.

"Oh, that's so funny. We've probably crossed paths and didn't notice."

"I would have noticed a girl like you." Zayn said leaning in closer.

Audrey froze. What the fuck was happening?

"So, are you going to invite me in or are we going to stand in the cold all night?"

There we go. Audrey couldn't do this. She couldn't sleep with Zayn no matter how bad she wanted to. No matter how bad she craved a human touch. It had been so long, but it didn't feel right.

"I'm sorry, Zayn. You seem like a nice guy, but tonight just isn't the night." Audrey tried to turn him down lightly. She hated having to do this, why couldn't she just let herself have some fun?

Cause she knew that fun was only going to hurt her when she knew he'd want nothing to do with her after. Plus, he leaves anyway.

"As much as that sucks, no problem. Can I at least get your number?"

"Sure," she puts her number in his phone and hands it back.

He kissed her goodnight, and Audrey goes inside.

What was going on tonight?

Still confused, Audrey headed up to her room when her phone buzzed. It was two notifications from Snapchat.

"Zayn Malik added you as a friend!"

"New snap from Zayn Malik!"

That was fast. Was he drunk? How drunk was this man?

Audrey really couldn't tell if Zayn was drunk, but she sure wasn't. She barely drank the vodka soda.

He had to be that drunk if he was interested in Audrey. That's the only explanation she had.

Opening Snapchat, she added him back. His snapchat was a selfie of him that read:

"Great meeting you tonight"

Audrey tried 10 different selfie poses, picking out her flaws in every shot.

Finally she settled with a soft smile and said:

"You too, goodnight!"

Audrey texted LBD to tell her friends that she was home and going to bed.

Her phone buzzed a few times but she just ignored it. There was too much going on in her head right now to hear what her friends had to say. She knows they'd be asking for details. She'll deal with it in the morning.

Washing up and changing into her pajamas, Audrey turned off her alarm and tried to turn her mind off. There was so much to process but she was too tired.

//

I promise, this is a HARRY fanfiction. I know it doesn't seem like that yet as Audrey has been tangled up with Liam and now Zayn, but HARRY IS SO SOOOOOON.

Wild right? If only in my real life, it could have really been the boys. HA

COMMENT & Kudos IF YOU'RE ENJOYING!!


	10. Chapter 10

Audrey woke up at about 8:30am on Friday morning. The sun was shining through the blinds and the cool air from her open window filled the room.

Getting out of bed, Audrey put on her favorite oversized sweatshirt, a Banksmith University XXL football sweatshirt she found at the campus store on clearance. Heading towards the bathroom, Audrey wasn't thinking about weighing herself for once, she was thinking about Zayn and what happened the night before.

The night's events filled her mind, as she dissected every second of their interaction, trying to identify the time Zayn let on that it was all a big joke. There was no way Zayn actually wanted to talk to Audrey. She bet his friends and him had a bet who could get with the ugliest girl at the bar. 

There was no way a musician, let alone future recording artist, could have actually been interested in Audrey. There was no way someone that looked like Zayn, mysteriously striking, with a voice as smooth as his, could have actually been interested in Audrey. There was just no way.

"I would have noticed a girl like you." 

Audrey replayed his voice through her head, as she got undressed and stepped on the scale.

153.3lb - as she expected. Audrey could tell she was puffy, without even looking in the mirror. A night of drinking and interruption in her regular sleep schedule always did this to her. 

As much as this sight bothered Audrey, her mind was distracted by thoughts of Zayn Malik. Plus, she knew this was extra water, but she would sit in the locker room sauna for 15 extra minutes after her workout.

Audrey was content with her decision not to sleep with Zayn last night. She knew it would just have ended with him never speaking to her again, and her ultimately shutting down because of it. Plus, Audrey didn't feel right about the entire situation last night and she couldn't figure out why.

However, Audrey had this nagging feeling that maybe things could have been different. 

None of the guys that she had been with before had ever offered to get her a drink. Hell, she barely even spoke to any them before they were face to face in the corner of the party, or Audrey was back in their bedroom.

It wouldn't have been any different, he would have left last night and that'd be the last you'd hear from him. He'd probably get the most points for sleeping with the fat girl. 

She took her morning coffee back to her room and Audrey took 3 Advil with an entire water bottle. She wasn't hungover, but damn, she was tired.

_______________________________________________________________________________

It was around 10:30am when she got back to the gym to find Nikki, Neeva, Sophia, and Cal, at the dining room table. Maggie must have still been asleep. 

Audrey barely even made it into the house before she got bombarded with questions.

"Auuudrey" Nikki smirked, "so, what the hell happened last night?"

"Did you have 'fun'?" Sophia teased, winking obnoxiously

"Guys, let me walk through the door at least. And before you all get your hopes up, I didn't sleep with him. Sorry to disappoint!" 

"What?! Why?" they said in unison, except for Cal. He didn't have a clue what was going on.

"I don't know, something just... didn't feel right about it. He's hot as fuck, but, like, I just don't know. He walked me home and we kissed goodnight, but I just didn't want to. I guess."

"Who are you guys talking about?" Cal asked.

"Zayn Malik. He offered to buy me a drink last night, then walked me home. When we got back, he had asked if I was going to invite him in but I just told him last night just wasn't the night. We kissed then he left. But he added me on Snapchat, like immediately and snapped me."

"Zayn Malik? Didn't he sign to like Capitol Records or something? I don't think he's a student anymore." Cal said.

"Columbia apparently, but yeah. Cal, do you know every man I've had a sexual encounter with?" Audrey teased.

"He was actually an engineer, we had a few classes sophomore year. I didn't really know him too well."

"Are you going to talk to him again? What if he snaps you?" Nikki said with playfully.

"I snapped him back last night, but he didn't respond. Thankfully. No unsolicited dick pics."

You don't even get those, Audrey's brain reminded her. 

"Oooh, what if he's out tonight? You have to talk to him if you see him at O'Malley's again."

"Oh god, I hope not. I'm trying to avoid this. I am so awkward.", and before her roommates could say anything more, Audrey continued, "well, sorry to disappoint you all with my PG adventures, but I'm going to shower, and head to Cocoa's and get some work done. Apparently homework during syllabus week really is a thing."

"Okay, see you later. Pregame at 9:30pm?" asked Nikki.

"Yep, maybe we can have some more people over tonight. I'll text Krew. See you later."

Audrey grabbed a protein bar from her corner of the cupboard and headed upstairs to get ready for the day. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Audrey started getting ready to pregame by 9:00pm. She knew she had to take it easy tonight, cause she had an 8:00am shift at True Barre the next morning. She didn't mind the early shift on Saturdays - it was a good excuse to not go out most Friday nights.

Connecting her phone to her speakers putting on her pregame playlist, "I Feel The Love" by Tritational ft Ross Lynch, filled the silence of her room. She could hear the beats of her friends' music through the walls, so she turned hers up ever so slightly. She liked her music.

As she was turning up the volume, the music cut, interrupted by a Snapchat notification. 

"New snap from Zayn Malik!"

Oh god, she panicked, what could he want?

She set her phone down, deciding to finish her make up before opening it. She couldn't look eager.

After about 20 minutes, Audrey was ready to go downstairs. She was always the first one ready, and the first one downstairs. She brought down her speaker, and made herself the weakest drink possible.

Audrey decided to open Zayn's snap while she was still alone.

Another selfie of him, with the text "Hey!".

Okay, what? Why did this unsettle Audrey so much... she couldn't help but laugh cause she thought it was a bit weird. 

"Hi", Audrey responded with her forehead, she hated selfies. She'd much rather snap her friends, when she didn't have to think twice about what she looked like.

Less than 2 minutes later, her phone buzzed and it was another snap from Zayn Malik - another selfie.

"You goin out tonight?"

Great, he's probably going to be at O'Malley's again.

She didn't wait this time to respond. Same angle, she sent back, "Yep! You?" Delivered.

Nikki came downstairs, and by now it was just about 9:30pm. She made herself a drink, and joined Audrey in the living room.

"Zayn snapped me again. He sent me a selfie saying , "hey", I responded, then he asked if I was going out again tonight. I do not want to see him."

"Wait really?! I mean, if you don't want to talk to him, fine - do you girl. He's just another stupid boy anyway."

Nikki might have been 4'11" but she had a 6'2" personality and was independent as hell.

Just then, Krew and her housemates knocked on the door, and Neeva, Sophia and Cal came downstairs. Maggie was running late, as usual. 

Audrey was taking a snapchat to send to Kiera, when she saw Zayn's come through. 

Another selfie, but this time she could see a beer can in his hand from the angle he took it and it read "nice hope to see you there". 

Audrey didn't answer.

_________________________________________________________________________

At O'Malley's, it was the same shit, different night and Audrey was entirely sober. She put on her happy face, wishing she could have had the pretzels Nikki was snacking on at the pregame; she was starving.

When she walked in, she scanned the bar to see if Zayn was there yet. She could see some of his friends beginning to congregate in the corner, but luckily no sign of him yet.

With the music blasting, she roamed the bar, chatting on and off with some acquaintances. A lot of the conversations had to do with winter break, or the classic "can you believe its our last semester?". Audrey tried to avoid those.

She was on her way to the bathroom, when she could see Zayn passing by in her direction. 

"Hey! How are you?" he said, excited to see her.

"I'm good! How about you?" 

Audrey was sheepish, she could feel her body freezing over, herself becoming uneasy.

"Good! Good to see you! I can't believe it's so crowded tonight!" 

Audrey tried to understand him over the blaring music. 

"Yeah sometimes I hate when it gets like this, I can barely even move!" and just as she said that, she felt elbows in her side, and a gentle shove by someone trying to pass by. She stumbled and Zayn reached out for her.

"Thanks," Audrey said, "I'm going to head to the bathroom while I can. I'll see you around?"

"Definitely, catch you later."

Absolutely flustered, Audrey stood on the bathroom line, trying to keep herself together. She took out her phone and texted LBD. 

"Gonna head home, work early tomorrow" Nikki and Neeva liked her message.

"let us know when you're home" responded Maggie.

Grabbing her sweatshirt, Audrey headed out the door and made her way home. Her heart was racing, and she was just so confused. She never understood why a simple interaction like that made her so nervous. 

She couldn't speak to a guy without being basically borderline blackout apparently. If she even spoke to them at all. 

When she got home, she reset the alarm before heading upstairs.

"home. the alarm is on" Neeva liked her message.

It was around 12:30am when Audrey got home. Getting herself ready for bed, her mind raced with the thought of Zan Malik.

Why was he talking to her? What was it about him that made Audrey so uneasy?

She laid down, but her restless mind wouldn't let sleep come upon her. 

It was around 1:15am when she heard her phone buzz.

"New snap from Zayn Malik!"

She opened the snap, "Hey!".

Fuck why did she open it?

Not knowing what to do or say, she ignored it, locking her phone. She couldn't be bothered, she was desperate for sleep to take over.

//

This isn't my favorite chapter but it's necessary! I promise!!! Its important for when Harry and Audrey cross paths!

How are you liking it so far? Please be honest and don't forget to kudos!!


	11. Chapter 11

When Audrey's alarm went off at 7:00am, she it snooze she rolled back over. Except Audrey, didn't realize she hit, 'Stop' and not 'Snooze'.

Fuck! she thought when she woke up at 7:40am. She was lucky the True Barre studio was only 10 minutes away. She quickly got dressed and ran out the door with no time to think about anything else. 

She had just enough time to grab a cup of coffee from the Starbucks across the shopping complex parking lot. She was lucky True Barre wasn't a job she had to get dressed for - she was in a pair of workout leggings and her oversized Banksmith sweatshirt. 

She was too tired to join today's barre class, and she thought she would pass out if she even tried. After her shift, she locked up the studio, and head across the street to ShopRite to pick up her weekly groceries, consisting of apples, eggs, egg whites, turkey breast deli slices, baby carrots and cucumbers, hummus, and some frozen chicken and vegetables with a pack of diet ginger ale. She threw in some extra protein bars and headed to checkout. 

After getting home, and unpacking her groceries, she made her way to the gym, which was always empty on Saturdays. It was too late in the day to weigh herself, so she would restart on Sunday.

After the gym, Audrey didn't know what to do with herself. Her roommates often spent Saturdays in bed, and since it was the beginning of the semester, Audrey didn't have enough work to do to spend countless hours in the library.

She asked if Tiana was home and ended up going over there.

Leaving her house, she saw a few guys head into the house across the street.

It couldn't be - it couldn't be them.

//

EVERYONE SAY HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TO HARRY. I AM GETTING SO EXCITED TO KEEP GOING. It's going to heat up and heat up FAST.

Thank you to all of you that have been following along and bearing with me for taking until chapter 11 to bring in harry!!!!

Feedback is always welcomed - please let me know anything I can change!

Comment and kudos are appreciated!!

Then she remembered what Zayn said on Thursday - 'My buddies live across the street.'

It had to be them. Louis Tomlinson and Niall Horan. They were in acapella, and so was Zayn.

You've got to be kidding me - they are my NEIGHBORS.

Not only was Audrey wildly uncomfortable about this recent discovery, she also began to think just how cute Niall and Louis were. Inevitably, she would hurt her own feelings with imaginary scenarios.

At Tiana's, she plopped on the couch across from Tiana and Omar. Dash ran around the living room, greeting Audrey with lots of puppy licks. Audrey played with Dash for a bit as the show Tiana and Omar were watching ended.

"So, you guys going out tonight?" Audrey asked.

"I don't feel like it, plus I have work tomorrow." 

Tiana worked Sunday mornings at True Barre. Sometimes her and Audrey switched off.

"Ugh, I don't feel like to be honest." 

"Want to stay and watch a movie with me?"

Looking up from his phone, Omar says "Its the last day of syllabus week. You have to go out!"

"Omar, can you let us be in our old age. We are tired." Audrey said, only half a lie. 

"Fine, but don't come crying to me when you realize you're wasting away the last of your senior year."

That one hurt Audrey, and she tried to ignore it.

"A movie sounds great, I'll head home and come back around 7:00pm in my pajamas."

_______________________________________________________________________

Heading back to Tiana's before her roommates noticed she was gone, Audrey was glad she escaped without any questions. She loved when it was just her and Tiana. 

She was the one Audrey felt comfortable in silence with. They watched whatever scary movie the could find on Netflix and Audrey headed home, around 10:00pm, knowing her roommates went next door to pregame. She was alone. And she had no snaps from Zayn.

________________________________________________________________________

Monday came too soon, and Audrey was restarting her weekly routine. Wake up, weight, coffee, Tasty, gym, shower, eat, class, work in that order. She was looking forward to when she would have enough school work to spend Monday nights in the library.

Bollywood dancing began to pick up and she actually kind of liked it, and she couldn't complain about the extra workout. Audrey wished she had the attention span to focus in Anthropology of Tourism. Not only was she analyzing ever breath she took, as she tried to learn to get more comfortable with Liam in the class, her mind tried to puzzle together how she's lived across from Niall and Louis for half a year and is just finding out now. 

She has no idea if they know that they are neighbors, but its just another thing for her to worry about. Has Zayn told his 'buddies' about the 'girl next door'? But in some cruel, twisted joking way? Her mind wouldn't stop.

That evening, as she lay in her bed after spending time with her roommates downstairs, she received another snap from Zayn.

"hey!"

Audrey couldn't get pass how bizarre she really thought this was. Do boys really just send selfies saying 'hey' to girls? Audrey was confused, she's never experienced this before. No guy has really ever tried to talk to her.

Uncomfortable enough, Audrey still responded, "hi how are you?"

"good, what are you up to?"

It was only 9:30pm, but Audrey still responded "going to bed soon haha #grandma"

Zayn sent a picture of himself frowning and Audrey didn't respond, she couldn't be bothered. She didn't care, better to show him she's weird or ugly now, than for him to find out later and for Audrey to get hurt. It also still just didn't feel right.

Plus, why is he talking to her? Audrey's sure that 'hey!' went to all the girls on his snap list, there's no way it was meant just for her.

_____________________________________________________________________________

February 1st, 2018 - Thursday

The week passed and suddenly it was Thursday again. Audrey hadn't really heard from Zayn all week other than Monday, and she was thinking she scared him off. Probably better like that - if she wasn't going to give it up, he had no reason to talk to her she thought. 

Since it was still early in the semester, the thrill of going out still remained for Audrey's roommates. Plus, date party was only a few weeks away, and none of them had dates, except for Sophia and Tiana of course. 

As usual, they gathered in their living room around 9:30pm, and Tilly and Holly joined them again. Tilly and Holly were good at balancing their friends, as much as they were part of LBD, they had other friends they remained close with through the years.

Pouring a drink, Audrey got another snap from Zayn. 

Goddamnit what! 

"you going out tonight?"

But rather than his usual selfie, it was a selfie of him with his friend, whom Audrey didn't know. She could see some feet in the background from the angle of the selfie. 

Sipping her drink, she snapped a picture of her. "yep!"

He responded but she didn't bother opening it. She wanted to focus on being with her friends.

"Zayn snapped me again, looks like he's going out. I thought I got rid of him."

"Does he really just send you selfies saying hey?" Maggie asked; all Audrey's friends were up to speed. "That's honestly so strange."

"Yeah, I don't know, he snapped me again but I can't be bothered right now." 

They carried on with the laughter and the liquor, and Audrey could definitely feel the alcohol tonight. She wasn't drunk, but she was light and felt loose.

_____________________________________________________________________

Making their way to the bar, Audrey opened Zayn's snap, and it was just a picture of him and his friend again with a 'Banksmith Valley' geotag.

Once in the bar, Audrey could see that Zayn was there, but tonight she noticed Liam and Harry were too. 

Audrey stuck by her friends throughout the night, and her and Zayn passed by each other when Audrey was on her way to the bar. She smiled, but she didn't think he saw her, either that or he was just ignoring, which wouldn't surprise her.

Relieved he didn't notice her, she got her drink and headedback to Nikki, Maggie, and Neeva, she ran into her freshmen year roommate, Shannon. 

"Audrey!" Shannon exclaimed. She was always so excited to see Audrey. Audrey never fully trusted Shannon, but the two of them had an unspoken bond.

"Shannon! Oh my god, how are you? Can we please get lunch or coffee or something soon, please?"

"Yes, please. I can't believe we're fucking seniors."

Just as Audrey was about to respond, they were interrupted by someone. Audrey turned.

Harry Styles?

Harry Styles was standing before Audrey, and it struck her just how attractive he was. 

Standing there in all black, Harry looked at Shannon and Audrey. 

"Hey, you guys are in my classes right?" he asked. His voice so deep, so smooth, Audrey was speechless. 

"Yeah, I'm in your Bus5 class. I'm Shannon." 

Shannon was always so good with guys, it was so easy for her. Freshmen year there was almost a new guy every week. 

"Yeah," Harry responded, looking directly at Audrey with his piercing green eyes. His hair was just long enough to curl around his face. His u-neck shirt swooped just low enough that Audrey could see a peak of tattoos but she wasn't sure what they were. His silver chain rested right above the center of his chest.

"Uh, yeah I think we have Anthropology together. I'm Audrey"

"Yeah, we do. I'm Harry." Harry said again.

Audrey could feel herself beginning to panic. She wasn't drunk enough to calm her nerves, as she certainly wasn't expecting to be talking to Harry Styles. She thought he was cute in class, but she didn't realize how attractive he really was.

"Isn't Professor Wynkler so annoying? I hate Bus5."

"Yeah," Harry said once again, not taking his gaze of Audrey. "How do you like our class?"

"Its good. I had Professor Blume last semester and like her a lot." Audrey spit out.

"I have no idea what's going on, I haven't read any of the material." Harry laughed.

Audrey laughed nervously. 

"What do you think of Bus 5?" Shannon asked.

"I'll see you guys around." Harry said, walking away, clearly ignoring Shannon.

"That was bizarre. He's so weird." Shannon said, deflecting being blatantly ignore.

"Yeah," Audrey tried to wrap her head around what just happened but chose to shake it off and head back to her other friends, "I'll see you later Shannon. I'll text you tomorrow for lunch next week."

Back with her friends, Audrey started to think that maybe Harry was just weird. He's probably drunk, but to blatantly ignore Shannon like that? And why wouldn't he stop looking at her? 

It started to get late, and Audrey headed to the bathroom before leaving. She followed Neeva to the bathroom, managing their way through the maze of the crowd.

Audrey didn't even realize what had happened while she was walking to the bathroom until it was over. She didn't even notice Harry passing by.

Harry gently grabbed Audrey's face, kissing her, right there in the middle of their tracks.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry let go of her face, and walked away without a word.

Audrey was absolutely frozen.

Did that really just happen?

Neeva, realizing she had lost Audrey on the way to the bathroom and had turned to see the whole thing.

"Audrey, what was that? Did he just kiss you? Do you even know him?"

Audrey, struggling to find any words, choked "Neeva, I have absolutely no idea what the hell just happened. I barely know him, he literal came up to Shannon and and I not that long ago. He's in my class but we've never spoken."

"Alright, lets go home and discuss."

In an absolute state of awe, Audrey couldn't even feel the cold as she walked home with Neeva.

"Neeva, I really have no idea what that was. I can't get over it, did that really just happen? Why did Harry kiss me?"

"I have no idea. Harry's in a few of my business classes, I think he's kind of an asshole."

Maggie and Nikki came home not too long after, Sophia must have gone to Cal's. Neeva and Audrey were still in the living room.

"Harry kissed Audrey tonight, we have no idea why and it was so random."

"We were literally walking by each other and he just went in for it. I'm okay with it, I'm just so confused."

Alright, they have to be pranking Audrey. There's no way Zayn, now Harry, wanted anything to do with her. How fucking drunk was he?

"He did what?" Nikki getting defensive, "that's fucking weird? But hey, maybe he's into you. Boys think with their dicks."

That didn't help. Audrey was already confused, she didn't need a seed planted in her head.

"Well now you have to go out tomorrow! You have to see if he's at the bar again." Shouted Maggie.

That was the last thing Audrey wanted. Harry Styles just randomly kissed her, with no explanation. She remember how he completely disregarded Shannon earlier in the night.

"He came up to Shannon and I, being like, 'I think you guys are in my classes.' but he completely ignored Shannon the entire conversation. It was weird, I don't know."

"He sounds kinda weird."

Thanks, Maggie, as if Audrey really didn't know what to make of the situation before, she certainly didn't know now.

"Alright guys, I'm confused. I'm going to bed. What a weird night!"

But as Audrey went up the stairs to her bedroom, her mind was trying to process the night's events. Audrey was trying to convince herself that she imagined it, that it was just a dream. She's asleep and she'll wake up in the AM. Maybe the last two weeks have all been a dream.

Audrey didn't know what to do so she went to bed and tried to calm her mind, but images of Harry flashed through it all night.

_____________________________________________________

By the time Friday night rolled around, Audrey was overwhelmed with anxiety. She spent all day replaying the kiss in her head, thinking about Harry's hands on her face, gentle, but firm. She hasn't been touched like that in so long, but she knew it was too good to be true.

He must have been so drunk, he probably thought she was someone else or that his friends dared him to do it.

Her mind in a fog all day, she found herself going through the normal motions of getting ready to go out again, as the nerves began to creep of her neck at the thought of seeing Harry again. 

Solo Dance by Martin Jensen played in the background as she put on her makeup, got dressed, and ritualistically stared at herself in the mirror until the voice in her head convinced her she wasn't good enough anyway, so it didn't matter how she looked.

Heading downstairs a bit later than usual, her friends were already beginning to pregame.

"There she is!" Nikki said, "we're taking shots to toast to the night!." 

Audrey, filled with nerves, decided she would be drinking. She wanted to be drunk, she needed her nerves to calm down. She mixed herself a drink with a hefty pour of Titos, took the shot, and chased it down with her mix. 

"I fucking hate shots, goddamn. We really used to rip six of those in a row and call it a pregame." Audrey laughed, feeling the vodka running through her veins, settling her nerves. Audrey still didn't feel right, but this helped. 

She knew she couldn't get too drunk, especially since she almost missed her shift last week, but she needed to relieve the tension at the back of her neck. 

"I wish I could still rip six shots and call it a day. Those were the times." Maggie reminisced. 

Looking at her phone to check the time, Audrey got a snapchat notification from Zayn.

Sighing, she opened it to see what he had to say. 

"hey! you going out tonight?"

"yep!!" she responded to his selfie with a picture of her friends.

"see you there"

The girls headed out and made their way to O'Malley's. Audrey was definitely drunk, but felt euphoric. She hasn't felt like this in awhile, and she's glad it didn't take too much to get drunk.

___________________________________________________

At O'Malley's, Audrey went straight to the down floor. She sang, she danced, and she realized the alcohol completely erased her nerves.

Seeing Zayn in his usual corner with his friends, she went up to talk to him. She noticed Liam was there, and Josh Devine from her class, but she didn't see anyone else. She didn't see Harry, thankfully.

Audrey was drunk enough to make small talk with Zayn, but ended the conversation before it went too far and Audrey did something she would regret.

Just as she was about to walk away, she turned around to see Harry heading their way to join his friends. 

Audrey avoided his gaze and immediately found Maggie at her seat at the bar, manning the drinks all night. 

"Get me a drink, please. Harry must have just gotten here."

"Yes, ma'am." 

Audrey took a big sip of her vodka diet coke, hoping the vodka would combat her newly found nerves after seeing Harry in person. 

"I was hoping he wouldn't be here."

"Whatever girl, go have fun! Just ignore him, but I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to talk to you again." 

"I wouldn't day he really tried to talk to me the first time"

Audrey went to join her friends on the dance floor again, bumping into some acquaintances and making small talk. Audrey was exceedingly sociable when she was drunk, her friends often called her drunk self Patzy. She was a totally different person.

After a bit of time, Audrey realized it was getting late, but she didn't care. She felt good and would deal with the consequences later. She set an extra alarm for the morning though, to be sure she didn't wake up late again. 

The bar was starting to empty, as last call lights came on around 1:30am. She felt her phone buzz and she could see she had a text from Zayn.

"hey you still here?" it read. 

Audrey ignored it, and continued dancing.

With more room on the dance floor, she could see Harry was watching her, from where he was standing by his friends. He was talking to someone Audrey didn't recognize, but his gazed was locked on her.

Audrey didn't even know what to think, when suddenly he was walking her way. He was in jeans and a loose fitting long sleeve shirt. The buttons were undone and she could see the same tattoos she noticed yesterday peaking out. 

"Hey," Harry said.

"Hi," Audrey said, drunk enough so she couldn't feel her nerves crawling up her back, beginning at her toes, "how are you?"

"I'm good. Its good to see you again." 

"Yeah, last time we saw each you kissed me. Care to explain?" Patzy was out, Audrey could feel her taking over. Audrey would have never dreamed of saying something like that.

"Yeah, about that. I was wasted, but it doesn't mean I didn't want to." Harry grabbed the back of his next, scratching it shyly. 

Audrey saw his shirt lift a bit and tried not to stare. His boxers peaked out of his jeans. Damn.

"Well, it was definitely a way to say hello." she teased.

"Can I say hello again?" Harry said, leaning in closer to Audrey.

Their eyes locking, and without a word, her and Harry were making out in the middle of the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and her hands behind his neck, gently tugging on his brown curly hair. 

She felt her phone buzz a few times, but ignored it. This was absolute bliss. Harry's lips and hers fit perfectly, even though were both a little drunk, it was far from sloppy.

"Wanna go back to my place?" Harry stopped, whispering in her ear.

Audrey suddenly snapped out of it and pulled head away, but his arms were still around her.

"Uh, sorry. Not tonight." she said, with the realization of what was happening hitting her like a moving freight train and she had ran the tracks.

"C'mon" Harry moaned.

Audrey had to stand her ground, he was in her class for god's sake. She already felt awkward with Liam being there, she couldn't make it any worse for herself more than she already has. 

She just made out with Harry Styles in the middle of the bar, and now has to see him in class on Monday. 

God, she was so stupid. But, he was so... irresistible. 

"Why don't you ask for my number instead and then we can see what happens?" a little bit of Patzy was still there cause Audrey was still a little drunk, but she had suddenly sobered up when she realized what was happening.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Harry smiled.

Every part of Audrey wanted to and was telling her to.

But Audrey couldn't. She could not sleep with a guy that was in her class that she would see every Monday and Wednesday for the next 15 weeks. She had a track record of guys never speaking to her in any way, which meant she was the problem. She was doing something wrong. She wasn't good enough. And she wasn't about to embarrass herself, especially in front of Harry Styles, who was easily the hottest guy she'd ever interacted with. 

"Give me your phone, let me give you my number." 

Harry took out his phone, drunkenly swaying a bit. 

Fine." he said, almost groaning, making Audrey feel regretful but she had to stand her ground. She couldn't let him in, she couldn't give him a piece of her, knowing damn well he'd take it and throw it right away. 

She didn't have much left to give after all.

Audrey put in her number, kissed Harry, getting the taste of his lips once more, and ran away as fast as she could.

Walking home she looked at her phone finally, and it was just about 2:00am, which meant the bar was closing anyway. 

She had a few texts from her roommates saying they were all going home and she had another text from Zayn, and she realized she completely ignored his first text. 

"saw you making out with my roommate, thanks for that 😅"

EARLY RELEASE!!

Please please please kudo and comment!! I would love some feedback!!!

Are you all enjoying so far? Any questions?


	13. Chapter 13

Shaking, but not from the cold, Audrey made her way back home, alone. Parties had already died down, so she walked the quiet streets, with nothing but faded music in the distant from a stray party and her thoughts to keep her comfort. 

It was cold, and there was still piles of snow lining the sidewalks from where it had been shoveled. 

Audrey wouldn't be able to wrap her head around this one. Did she really just make out with Harry Styles in the middle of O'Malley's for the second night in a row? 

Her mind was so overwhelmed that the thoughts echoed in her head that she wasn't able to process a single thought. 

She just made out with Harry Styles, in the middle of the bar. She would have to see Harry Styles in class on Monday. The panic began to crawl through her mind. She was just starting to be comfortable in the same room with Liam Payne everyday, now she had to deal with Harry Styles?

She then remembered she gave him her number and she knew that she'd never get a text. She knew she would get herself excited in the anticipation that he would text her. She knew she would only be disappointed and have no one to blame but herself. 

Why did she have that feeling inside her? That feeling like a young school girl would if the boy she liked picked her to be on her team. She didn't feel like this with Zayn, she didn't really want anything to do with Zayn. 

But she also knew she couldn't ever be with Harry, even if it just was sex. One hour with her in the bedroom and he would run for sure. They all did. She didn't know why, but she knew it was her fault. Audrey was exhausted by the thought of doing that again, she had just barely got back on her feet after Jake and she wasn't ready to shut down again. 

Alone and exhausted Audrey climbed into bed, not even bothering to take her makeup off.  
——————————————————————————  
Audrey woke up and could feel she was still a little drunk. She had that shakey, strung out feeling. She had just enough time to take a cold shower, but she would have to sacrifice her morning coffee, settling for Starbucks. 

She got her Venti hot coffee with a shot of espresso, sugar free vanilla, and light half and half. She always poured her own half and half, she didn't trust that the workers would go as "light" as she does. 

Skipping barre class again this week, knowing she'd probably sweat out the alcohol from the night before, Audrey tried to focus on an assignment. However, she was so unable to concentrate from being exhausted and from trying to figure out the night before she knew it was a lost cause. 

She put her notebook away and mindlessly scrolled through Facebook trying to distract herself.

Making the grocery store quick after her shift, Audrey headed home. 

Not one of her thoughts not being about Harry. 

Getting home by 1:00pm, Audrey needed to go back to bed. She hated naps,and feeling unproductive, but her body and mind begged her for some rest. 

She popped some Advil and drank some more water and went to sleep. 

She never fully fell asleep, stuck in the dream like state, and woke up just before 2:30pm. 

After drinking l more water, she headed downstairs to make herself her first meal that day, Audrey saw Sophia and Nikki were in the kitchen. 

"Hey," she said, coming down the stairs to their kitchen. Both girls were still in their pajamas, a typical Saturday in the house. 

"I'm exhausted from last night. Remind me not to drink like that before I have work again."

Nikki laughed, "Do it now while you can!"

Making 'breakfast', Audrey grabbed an apple and made some powdered peanut butter along with another water bottle. Leaning on the counter in her favorite spot, next to the window, she listened to Audrey and Sophia have small talk. 

She looked down at her phone when it buzzed in her hand, and to her disbelief she saw a Snapchat notification. 

"Harry Styles added you as a friend!"

Holy shit. She took a screenshot immediately, almost as if to make sure it was real. To capture the moment. 

"Holy shit," Audrey interrupted her friends., "guys, shit!"

"What is it?"

"I was going to tell you later, but long story short, I made out with Harry at O'Malley's again last night, he asked me to go home with him but I just gave him my number and shit, he just added me on Snapchat." 

"WHAT?!" Nikki and Sophia raced over to see for themselves. 

Audrey, visibly shaking, but no longer from the alcohol detoxing from her body, but the pure rush of adrenaline and nerves she got from seeing that notification. 

"Guys, literally what the fuck? This has to be a joke."

"Shut up! Dudes into you! Why is that so hard to believe?" Nikki said. 

Audrey was silent. 

"Audrey come on, he may be a stupid boy but it seems like he may be into you. So what if you just hook up? You literally don't owe him anything and if you don't want to anymore then you just stop." 

How did Nikki do that? Nikki was the only person Audrey knew who was genuinely happy with her life. So confident and secure with herself; Audrey always envied her a bit. 

"I know I know, but first Zayn. Now this. I-"' then she remembered Zayn's text from last night, "oh fuck, guys Zayn also texted me. Him and Harry are roommates." 

Audrey reopened the message with Zayn. She vaguely remembered responding. 

"oops sorry"

She was such a bitch when she was drunk, at least Patsy is. 

"This is a mess! How am I supposed to go to class on Monday? It's going to be so awkward, and he sits right next to Liam too. Guys!" Audrey said manically. 

But this has been on Audrey's mind all day, and she secretly hoped her friends would know the answer. 

"It'll be okay, we promise, okay? I'll meet you in the lobby of Penn Lab ahead of our 12:45s and I'll hype you up." 

Sophia's intentions were good, but Audrey didn't need to be hyped up, she needed to be calmed down. Sedated even. 

She was a little shakey, but what her friends didn't see was her insides we're being electrified by her nerves. The tension starts in her toes and centers in her neck. She could feel every thought pulsing through her brain. 

She sent the screenshot she took to LBD. 

Tiana and Maggie "haha!". Meaning Maggie was awake, but probably still laying in bed. 

"was that why I heard someone scream oh shit downstairs lol"

Audrey didn't realize she was so loud.

"yes sorry I got nervous"

Neeva replied with an "omg". Probably still in bed too. 

"we made out last night at O'Malley's. I gave him my number instead of going home with him and well"

"jesus christ" Audrey followed you with. 

All her friends "haha!" But this really wasn't funny for Audrey. She was so anxious about Monday. 

"I'm going to head to the gym to sit in the bike for a bit. I'll see you guys later."

Audrey needed to clear her head but knew she didn't have the energy to run today. Plus, she knew she wasn't going out and would get a good sleep tonight. She'd get back to her workout routine tomorrow. 

Tomorrow was Super Bowl Sunday.

//

HELLO FRIENDS!   
As some of you might know, this is based on a true story in my life. The header to this chapter is the actual screenshot of the Snapchat notification I got.

If only it actually said Harry Styles ahaha. Head to my wattpad to see - @justimagine18

Any questions? Feedback?

Please remember to kudo and comment if you're enjoying!!


	14. Chapter 14

February 4th, 2018 - Sunday.

Super Bowl Sunday, 2018. 

The Philadelphia Eagles were playing the New England Patriots, and being at a Pennsylvania school right outside of Philadelphia, meant everyone was excited. It was going to be one the biggest events of the year.

Gamma Sigma Theta's tradition was to watch the game at the Pi Alpha Theta house. Omar was a member of Pi Alpha Theta, and Audrey's sorority partied with them often. They were of similar tier status, but Audrey didn't mind; they were all nice guys and she often hung out with Tiana, Omar, and Omar's friends. 

But Audrey still never felt like she made any genuine connections with any of Omar's friends. She always felt like she was just there, invisible to the rest of the group, listening to the conversations but never really a part of it. No one really remembered her when they'd meet again.

Tiana, with a big enough car and often deemed the mom of the group, picked up Audrey and her roommates, and headed up Greek hill to the PAT house right before the 6:30pm kickoff. Audrey liked watching the Superbowl games, but didn't have much of an interest in football. She went to be surrounded by people, even though she knew she'd probably feel alone.

But the Superbowl also meant beer, wings, pizza, and all the things Audrey didn't let herself eat and would be tempted with. When she was offered a slice, she lied and said she wasn't hungry. When she was offered a beer, she said she didn't want to drink, it was Sunday after all. She got confused looks from Omar, 'but its Superbowl Sunday! Have some fun!', she shrugged, but decided to take the beer and just nurse it in her hands. 

No one would notice she wasn't drinking it, people didn't really notice Audrey.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maggie and Holly were die-hard Eagles fans, and they were both absolutely wasted and in the highest spirits. Maggie's already electric personality was amplified when she drunk, and tonight she was drunk and on top of the world. Which meant Maggie wanted to go out, thinking the bar would be crowded.

Maggie rounded up the crew, and Audrey found herself on a Sunday night at 12:00am, in O'Malley's with pitchers of beer in front of her. She tried to remind herself that these were the memories she was so desperate to make when she got back, but she was so tired that she wanted nothing more than to go home and crawl into bed.

Plus, Audrey's mind wondered about what Harry was doing tonight. She tried to ignore it but it was impossible. There was something about him, something about what had happened that made her addicted to the thought of him. 

Did he think of her the way she thought of him?

Who are you kidding? she reminded herself.

Around 12:30am, Audrey was ready to call it a night, she couldn't put up the false smile anymore. She had already watch a fight break out at the entrance to O'Malley's when a Patriots fan tried to come in. She was over it. 

Luckily, Maggie had just finished her last beer, and the rest of the table looked like they wanted to go too. The girls headed back to their house, with the exception of Sophia who Tiana dropped off at home. Tiana didn't go out either. Why couldn't Audrey say no?

On their way home, Maggie was all over the place, but she was so happy. Audrey always thought she exaggerated a bit, given that she loves attention, but Audrey never minded. She liked seeing her friends happy. 

Finally home, Maggie was running around their house screaming that 'MY TEAM WON THE SUPERBOWL! GO BIRDS!' The girls were crippled in laughter, and Audrey was glad she stayed out, she would be missing these key moments, that she locked away her memory, hoping they would never end.

Crawling into bed, just around 1:00am, Audrey fell asleep with a smile for the first time in awhile.

Very short chapter - just a pivotal arch to what's going to happen next!!!

I HOPE EVERYONE IS ENJOYING!!! 

PLEASE COMMENT AND KUDO!! QUESTIONS BELOW??


	15. Chapter 15

February 5th, 2018 - Monday.

Audrey's alarm went off at her usual 7:00am, and her body begged her for 10 more minutes. She gave in and let herself fall back into a drifted sleep. 

After about 20 minutes, Audrey knew she had to get up or she wouldn't make it to the gym in time. She grabbed her phone to check if she had any notifications, assuming she wouldn't. 

With her eyes half shut, her phone lit up in her face and Audrey couldn't believe what she saw. She sat up immediately, rubbed her eyes, and looked at her phone again.

"Harry Styles sent you a snap!"

The notification was marked for 1:29am. What the hell?

Taking a screenshot, as if she thought her phone was lying, Audrey opened Snapchat, and to her surprise it was a text message. 

'hey, you up? can i see you?'

Did Harry Styles really send her a 'you up?' text on a Sunday night?

Audrey's mind was on fire, as she tried to rationalize what must have happened. She put her phone down, and headed to the bathroom in absolute disbelief. 

Sunday? Okay, it was the Superbowl which meant he was probably drinking. But still, Sunday night at 1:30am? Why was he thinking of Audrey. He had to have plenty of girls to call, but why her? What did Harry Styles want with Audrey?

He was probably joking around with his friends, Audrey. Don't get ahead of yourself. He was probably with Zayn and Liam, and probably even Louis and Niall, and they were probably shitting around about you. 

Knowing that her friends wouldn't be awake this early, Audrey headed to the gym to try to calm herself down. She was shaking, as she had to see Harry in class just a few hours.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After getting ready for class, Audrey found Nikki in her usual spot in their dining room and she joined Nikki.

"Morning," Nikki said, working on some homework.

"Morning," Audrey paused, "Soo, this morning I woke up from a Snapchat booty call from Harry Styles."

Audrey tried to keep her cool, but she could feel her stomach begin to flutter a bit and that nervous shakiness returning.

Nikki looked up from her computer, "What?", she laughed. "On a Sunday? Well I guess it was the Superbowl, but like still. What the hell?"

"Nikki, I have to see him today. How am I going to go to class and look Harry in the face, with both of us knowing he booty called me last night. We have never spoken outside O'Malley's."

"Walk in, take you seat, and act unphased. If he wants to see you, he can put in a little more effort than a Sunday night booty call."

Nikki was right, but Audrey couldn't fight herself for much longer, she wanted to see Harry. This was different from before. Yeah, it was a booty call, fine, but he was probably drunk and at least was thinking about her. Audrey struggled to wrap her head around this.

"I'm going to be so uncomfortable. I can't believe he booty called me on a Sunday, especially through Snapchat."

"Boys aren't the brightest."

The girls chatted some more and headed off to class and Audrey tried to quiet her anxiety but only knew it would grow worse as the morning progressed.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Audrey walked into Penn Lab, she saw Sophia waiting in the lobby. It was only 12:35pm, but Audrey was a bit sweaty after Bollywood dancing and wanted some time to freshen up. 

"You good to go to class, Audrey?

Audrey had sent this morning's screenshot to LBD, so Sophia was brought up to speed.

"I think I'll be fine, its just going to be weird. I'll see you later, Soph."

The classroom was practically empty, and Audrey set her backbag and coat down on her chair, and headed to the bathroom before class started.

Returning to her seat, Josh Devine and Eleanor Calder were in class, but Louis, Niall, Harry and Liam weren't there yet. Audrey's feet were on the back of the chair in front of her, and she scrolled through Facebook before class started.

Niall and Louis filed in, not looking too great, following Liam, and finally Harry. Harry walked in his acapella full dark groutfit, Ugg boots, and large iced coffee in hand.

Definitely hungover, Audrey thought.

But instead of taking his normal seat today, Harry took the seat in front of Audrey. And when Harry sat down, he smirked at Audrey. How could someone so hungover still look so good?

Audrey sheepishly took her feet of the chair, and inaudibly whispered 'sorry' as Harry sat down.

Audrey was besides herself. She opened iMessage on her computer and tried not to make it obvious that she was texting.

"guys"

"harry just sat in front of me"

"he's never sat in front of me his usual seat is wide opened"

"he fucking smirked at me when he sat down"

"oh my god this boy" Neeva replied.

"i can't believe this i am so uncomfy rn"

"its fine! i bet he feels kind of embarrassed that you didn't answer" Maggie, always trying to find the bright side.

Professor Blume was the last thing Audrey was able to focus on. She stared at the back of Harry's head for the entire class, mentally tracing the curls that popped out of his beanie. 

There was no way in hell Harry would ever text Audrey again, especially after she didn't even bother to acknowledge him this morning. She bet she even misinterpreted laughter for his smirk, creating a false reality in her head that Harry Styles may actually be attracted to Audrey.

The entire class her leg fidgeted up and down and she played her hair every few minutes. She was so uncomfortable in her seat, and every moment felt like an eternity? 

At this point, she had almost entirely forgotten about Liam. She had more uncomfortable situations to worry about and she didn't even know what to do about it.

Why did he change seats today? Probably so I couldn't stare at him. I bet he caught me staring the last few classes. He probably thinks I am a creep.

Audrey's mind liked to rationalize in the most self-deprecating way it could. She wasn't always like this, but this is what she knew now.

When class finally ended, she heard Louis groaning and Niall laughing about something that Audrey didn't hear them say and they all began to file out of the classroom. Audrey was packing her stuff up when Harry stood up to follow his friends, and she could see it in his eyes that there was something he wanted to say, but he just walked past Audrey without saying a word. 

In their brief moment of direct eye contact, Harry's green eyes pierced Audrey and stopped her in the middle of what she was doing. His eyes seemed to say something that was left unsaid between the two of them. Almost as if he wanted to reach out for her, but knew he couldn't do it in class.

Snapping out of it, Audrey knew better than to let herself believe that.

She knew if she got ahead of herself she was going to only get hurt in the end. Falsifying scenarios, making what had happened between them something that it wasn't. To be honest, Audrey was even sure that Thursday and Friday night had really even happened. 

Maybe this is all just a dream, Audrey thought walking out of class.

Until Thursday night, when Audrey ran into Harry at the bar again.

//

WOOOOOOO!!! CHAPTER 15!! AND OVER 500 READS (wattpad) IN LESS THAN A WEEK Y'ALL ARE INCREDIBLE :)

PSA: a GROUTFIT is a GREY OUTFIT, like an all grey tracksuit type deal

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT!!

AND PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR HONEST FEEDBACK!!


	16. Chapter 16

February 8th, 2018 - Thursday. 

By this point in the semester, Audrey and all her friends had their routines and coordinated effortlessly. Everyone knew when it was Thursday, to meet downstairs between 9:30 - 10:00pm to get the night going. 

Date party was in just a little over a week and Maggie, Neeva, Nikki, and Audrey still didn't have dates. 

Tonight, Audrey needed to calm her nerves, which meant drinking. She knows she'd see Harry at O'Malley's tonight and after their silent interaction on Monday, she didn't know what to do with him, or them. 

Whenever Audrey knew she'd be drinking, she'd skip a meal that day or plan to skip the next day. She needed to feel the alcohol pulsing through her veins, her inhibition dwindling. It made her feel good, until sometimes it didn't. At least she wasn't a drunk crier. 

Heading to O'Malley's she was relieved to see he wasn't there yet. It gave her a chance to sneak in another drink. Plus, the bar was serving celebratory Eagles shots for their Super Bowl win earlier that week. 

Audrey danced, she sang, she laughed, and she wasn't watching the door so she missed Harry come in. 

As she made her way back to Maggie and Neeva at the bar, she didn't even realize Harry had crossed her path, until she felt her hand being lightly grabbed from behind her. 

She spun around to find Harry Styles giving her that sane smirk he had on Monday. She hasn't seen him since Monday, since classes were cancelled because of a snow storm Wednesday. 

That smirk was absolutely irresistible. Audrey could feel her stomach fluttering and she kind of liked it. 

Harry pulled her in close. 

"Hey," he whispered in her ear, "you look great tonight."

This came to a surprise as Audrey, as she didn't look any different than her usual going out look. She was even wearing the same black jeans she was when she saw Harry last week. 

"Thanks, how has your night been?"

"It's been good, I'm glad I saw you tonight."

Audrey could tell he was drunk. His words slurred just a bit. 

"You must have missed seeing me on Wednesday then, since class was cancelled." 

Audrey couldn't believe what just came out of her mouth. Goddamn, Patzy. 

"Mmmhnmn, yeah. But also fuck that class. It's at the worst time."

Audrey just laughed and smiled at Harry as his fingers had intertwined with hers and his other arm was around her waist. 

What was he doing? This really was too good to be true. She was in disbelief. 

"So, if you're not busy later, can I see you tonight?"

Every part of Audrey's body screamed yes. Harry was so hard to resist, especially in all black. As she was pulled against him, she could feel every trace of his body outlined under his shirt. She was desperate to know what those tattoos on his chest were. 

Her body screamed to be touched, to be wanted, but Audrey wasn't ready for that. She was afraid, afraid to give herself to Harry. Afraid to give what may be the last piece of herself to him. She didn't know what she would do if he threw it away. 

"Hmm maybe, I'll let you know later." Audrey smirked, knowing that this was an act. 

"That maybe better be a yes by later." Harry looked her straight in the eyes, kissed her hard, and walked away. 

Audrey could feel the bricks from the walls she built over the last year slowly start to tumble, brick by brick. But she knew she couldn't give in. 

Not yet, at least. 

Later in the night, Audrey couldn't find Harry's face again, in the crowd of people. She took this as her opportunity to leave, before she saw Harry again, even though she knew she wanted to, she couldn't. Neeva was ready to go too, so the girls walked home together. 

On the way home, Neeva and Audrey made small talk, but it was still so cold that the girls hurried home. 

Audrey could hear a group of guys behind them, laughing just as Neeva and Audrey were. She peaked behind her to see what who it was. Harry. 

"Okay, Neeva we have to hurry up. Harry's behind us. He asked me to go home with him again tonight, and I almost did."

"Oh god," she looked back, "you're right. Okay, yeah let's pick it up a bit."

Keeping a good distance in front of them, Audrey and Neeva got home and sat in the living room for a bit. 

Audrey's phone buzzed, and she figured it was a text from LBD. But she noticed Neeva's phone didn't light up. She looked at her Fitbit that displayed messages, and saw the end of an unsaved number and message ending with "tonight?". She looked at her phone.

"hey where did you go tonight?"

Typing. 

"I didn't see you leave, come on can I see you tonight?"

Audrey knew exactly who the unsaved number was. 

Harry. 

At least this meant he didn't realize she was in front of him walking home. 

"Neeva, what do I do? Harry just texted me. Fuck!"

"Answer! Go over, if you want!"

"I don't think I want to do that. I mean I do, but I can't. I shouldn't. It's all a bad idea."

"hey tried to find you before I left. didn't see you im home now"

Typing. 

"no way I was there the whole night"

"gotta make up for this where's home?"

Audrey, absolutely manic, threw her phone down. 

"Neeva, I can't! I can't I can't! What does Harry want with me?"

"It's okay, Audrey. Fuck him!" Neeva paused, "you know what I mean."

Audrey sighed and said goodnight, and went upstairs to lay in bed. It's been about 20 minutes since Harry texted her. 

"561 W 5th"

"you can come over if you want"

Audrey couldn't believe herself. She laid awake, but no response. After 30 minutes, she gave up and went to sleep.

————————————————————————-

The rest of the weekend went by as normal. Audrey didn't go out Friday and Saturday. She didn't want to risk dealing with Harry until Monday. 

He had never answered her text and she felt like a fool. 

She spent all weekend thinking about Harry. He took up majority of her thoughts these days, just another brick being torn down from her safely guarded walls. She was feeling more exposed with everyday that passed. 

—————————————————————————  
February, 12th, 2018 - Monday. 

Monday morning rolled around as normal, and Audrey woke up feeling pretty down. It was one of those days, and from the moment she woke up, she knew she had done it to herself. 

She had ruined what could have maybe been a good thing, all cause she was afraid. But then she checked her phone. 

"Harry Styles sent you a snap!"

1:34am. What the fuck was it about Sunday nights that made Harry so horny for her? Audrey wanted to be more than just a booty call, she found becoming addicted to the thrill of the attention, not the attention itself.

Harry booty calls her, but when they're in person, he acts so differently. The way he looked at her, the way he held her when they were just talking in the bar. 

"hey"

Nice Harry. 

Audrey got out of bed and got her day started, ignoring Harry's message. 

————————————————————————

Another day, another week and Audrey was still just as uncomfortable in class sitting behind Harry, but at least she was seeing Shannon after class that Wednesday. She had something else to focus on, what off the menu would fit in her daily caloric allowance?

She met Shannon at Babe's Bowls, a trendy new açaí smoothie bowl shop. The girls sat down and started catching about how their semesters have been. They decided to do this every other week. 

Audrey was happy about that, Shannon and her were never best friends but they had an unspeakable bond. Audrey's father died her senior year of high school, and Shannon lost her dad when she was 8. It didn't take long for the two of them to bond over, to always have an understanding of each other. 

Audrey told Shannon all about Harry. 

"He's in my class and he just looks so confused all the time."

But Audrey thought that Shannon may just be peeved that he ignored her that one night. 

The girls wrapped up and Audrey headed home before work. 

As she was entering her house, she saw Louis and Niall go into their house. She wonders what they do after class. 

—————————————————————————

On Thursday, Leah texted Audrey that the student discount was back at Munchie's, their local froyo place. Audrey and Leah went all the time over the summer and she hadn't seen her in awhile. 

Audrey couldn't help herself, but she told Leah about Harry too. It was becoming word vomit and Audrey was having trouble not talking about him. He was in her mind constantly. 

"Why don't you ask him to date party?" Leah asked. 

"I could never do that, you know me!"

"Yeah, but what do you have to lose? It's just date party. Worst case he says no, best case he says yes."

Audrey was conflicted, she found herself liking the idea but terrified of the rejection. Her thoughts battled about the idea of asking Harry to their sorority date party. 

She would have to keep him entertained all night, he didn't know any of her friends. And he would more than likely expect to sleep with her, and she knew that would ruin it all. 

But Audrey also thought, how they would have to spend a night together first. They could dance, they would talk like normal young adults. It wasn't a date, it was free booze and a likely fuck. 

In a small moment of courage, Audrey whipped out her phone. 

"Fine, but if he says no, you're buying froyo next week."

"Deal."

Audrey opened their messages. "You're right. What do I have to lose other than being aggressively more uncomfortable in class." 

"Oh hush, if he says no, chances are he's busy. By the sound of it, he wants to see you. If he says no, it's not because of you."

Audrey wanted to believe Leah, but she knew that wasn't true. Harry was only looking for a fuck, Audrey knew that. But she thought maybe she could feel something, feel wanted for the night, and have fun. Like she did with Jake in the fall, before that all went to shit. Now she has to act as if her heart doesn't ache whenever she's sees him. She doesn't see him much anymore, and they barely talk since he's busy with his girlfriend. 

"hey my date party is this saturday night and if you're not busy I was wondering if you wanted to go?"

Sent. 

Delivered. 

"Fuck, I can't believe I just did that."

Her phone buzzed. 

"hey sorry I can't I have practice early the next morning"

"He has practice the next morning, he said no."

Leah could see the disappointment in Audrey's face as she tried to hide it. Another brick being torn down. Leah knew she was taking this personally. 

"Audrey, that's okay. He's busy! Acapella starts up again and their competitions will be soon. This has nothing to do with you."

"I guess. Guess I'm being Parker."

Parker was a friend to Audrey and her friends. She's brought Parker to date parties in the past, and Maggie has too. He was the go to ladies man, that was completely platonic. Audrey wouldn't have to worry about him. 

"okay no problem! 🙂" she replied to Harry. 

// 

HELLO EVERYONE! Harry's turning out to be kind of an ass right? Shits gonna change quick brace yourselves!!

Thanks everyone who reads and kudos!!! I love the feedback :)


	17. Chapter 17

February 12th, 2020 - Monday

Audrey sat in the seat before class started, flipping through photos from weekend. Countless photos of her and her friends smiling and laughing, and Audrey was thinking about how the pregame was always better than the actual date party.

She was glad she took Parker, she didn't have anything to worry about all night, he was friends with everyone.

But when the night was over, and everyone stumbled home with their dates' jackets wrapped around them, Audrey couldn't help but feel alone.

Plus, Wednesday was Valentine's Day. She'd really feel alone. She put on a smile and answered LBD with enthusiasm when Nikki told them her and Ryan were going on a date for Valentine's Day. Ryan and Nikki had met the night of date party; they set up by mutual friends. One night together and they're already going on a date. Audrey had never even been on a date, but she was happy for her friend.

Harry took his seat in front of Audrey, and she spent the entire class analyzing every interaction they've ever had and what she could have done differently.

You're so stupid. You should have just gave it up to him while you had the chance. Now you never will.

Audrey didn't wake up to a text or snap from Harry that morning. She tried to tell herself she was okay with it, that it was whatever. He probably found somebody else to hook up with and had given up on her.   
—————————————————————————---------------------------------

A few weeks had past, and Audrey didn't really see or hear from Harry other than the time they spent in class. 

Around 9:30pm, Audrey's phone buzzed as her and her friends were watching Magic Mike and drinking wine.

"Harry Styles sent you a snap!"

"What the fuck does Harry want at 9:30?"

Opening the app, a little purple square popped up next to Harry's bitmoji.

"Oh my god, it's a video. What the fuck? He's never just casually snapped me."

"Wait, before you open it, let's air play it to the TV."

Setting up on the phone, nervous to open it, Audrey hit the notification.

A video of an empty living room, flashing lights, and four boys standing in a circle drinking beers, with a caption that said "acapellas back let's fucking goooooo baby".

The girls never laughed so hard in their entire lives. And there was a similar video on his story, so the girls just watched it on a loop. Just four dudes in an empty living room, nice.

Audrey didn't even bother answering, she knew it was a mass snap, sent to many girls on his contact list.

Nights like these Audrey was grateful for her friends, but when she went to bed wondering what may have happened if Audrey went to that party.

You'd look like an obsessed little school girl.

Audrey went to sleep with that feeling she knew all too well, loneliness.   
—————————————————————————------------------------------------------  
March 8th, 2020 - Thursday

It was the last Thursday before Spring Break. Most people didn't have classes on Friday, so campus was pretty empty by Friday afternoon. Audrey's friends were leaving for the Dominican Republic on Saturday, and Audrey wasn't looking forward to returning home for the first time all semester tomorrow. She knew she'd avoid social media for the next week, which was probably for the best.

With mid-semester exams and projects over, Audrey was looking forward to going out with all her friends for one last time before a week apart. Audrey, settling for her same black ensemble, grabbed her stuff to head down stairs. The only perk of it still being cold was she could hide her extra tampons in the leg of her jeans, by her booties. Audrey never carried a purse, it was less stuff for her to worry about.

Heading downstairs Audrey poured herself a hefty drink, it was going to be one of those nights. Some people went home tonight, which meant the bar wouldn't be as crowded as it normally was. She'd be able to breathe a bit.

By now, Nikki and Ryan were dating, and he became their unofficial seventh roommate. Cal now had another guy to hangout with, rather than five girls. Their house dynamic was good. Ryan got along well with Omar too. Everyone was at their house for pregames, except Tiana, she didn't go out often. 

Nikki set the alarm, and the girls made their way to O'Malley's, joined by Krew and her roommates. Audrey was drunk before they left, and was ready to have a good night, as she tried to escape the thoughts of Harry.

But to no surprise, Harry was at the bar. Audrey tried to stay out of view for a bit, but the bar was small, and there was no avoiding him. And she was on drinks tonight, so she had to be at the bar. She hung with Neeva for a bit.

"God, he's right over there. I'm sure he probably saw me by now."

"Do you want to hook up with him?"

"I still don't know, I think he's over it to be honest."

"Hey, you never know. Listen, I'll take drinks tonight, go out there and pretend to ignore him."

"Thanks, Neeva but you don't have to do that. I have my period anyway, not like I could go back with him. Go have fun!"

"Nah, I'm good honestly. And so what? You guys seem to make out a lot. Go!"

"Ugh fine!" Audrey finished her drink and headed to dance with Nikki, Maggie, and Ryan. 

But what Audrey didn't know was that Ryan knew Harry from his classes. Suddenly, it was the five of them, and Ryan and Harry were talking. 

He looked so good tonight, Audrey was having a hard time being casual. He was in black skinny jeans, a tight quarter sleeve black shirt. Audrey could see the outline of his body she so desperately wanted to feel.

And just like that, there the two of them were, the chemistry between them was explosive. Blowing out the bricks of Audrey's towers.

"How've you been?" Harry asked in that smooth deep voice, Audrey liked.

He held her waist in one hand, and brought her closer to the wall, so they could have some privacy.

"I've been good, got through mid-terms. Looking forward to Spring Break. You?" 

"Good, a break is going to be nice. I've been crazy busy with acapella. We have competitions in Virginia all next week."

"Oh, that sounds fun." 

That same nervousness started to return in Audrey, but the liquor kept her talking.

"Yeah. I didn't see you the other night. I was hoping you'd come to our party. First time I'd been out in awhile, and tonight too."

Audrey wanted to ask him why he didn't just text her then. Why meeting drunk in O'Malley's was the extent of their relationship, when she felt like there could be something else there. But Audrey knew there was nothing else there. 

Audrey smiled, "Sorry, I was having a movie night with my roommates."

"No problem, I have you now."

Harry smiled, and Audrey melted. 

He leaned in and started kissing her, and Audrey remembered what she had been missing. She couldn't resist Harry, no matter how hard she tried. She still couldn't figure out what it was about him.

He leaned against the wall, and Audrey was pressed against him. Her hands on his hips, his hands on her waist.

"Do you want to head out?"

Audrey was hoping to avoid this conversation. She had her period, she couldn't go home with Harry. She had changed into her spare tampon, and it was light, but still. 

She sighed, trying to think of a way to tell him without telling him.

"You have the worst timing, this week just isn't the week for that."

"You're killing me." Harry ran his hands back through his hair, and put them back around Audrey.

"I know, I'm sorry. Just a bad week."

"It's fine," Harry leaned his head back against the wall.

Audrey looked up at him; she was mentally tracing the outline of his adam's apple and his perfectly lined jawed. He really was beautiful. She couldn't believe how someone like him could notice a girl like her.

The two stopped hooking up at the bar, and parted ways. Audrey began to head home with Maggie and Neeva.

Maggie was way too drunk tonight, but Audrey didn't mind, they all took care of each other. Plus, she was happy, just drunk. She couldn't walk too well, so the girls stayed close behind her.

By the time they got to the corner of the street, Maggie fell flat on her ass, and the three of them laughed hysterically, as Neeva and Audrey tried to help her up.

As Audrey and Neeva tried to help Maggie off the ground, Audrey could see out of the corner of her eye someone approaching. She immediately recognized him, Harry.

Are you kidding me?

Harry stopped when he got to them, "Hey, uh, here let me help." 

"Thank you, kind sir. Now be nice to my friend Audrey, and have fun you two!"

Audrey was so embarrassed and she could see Harry smiling.

"I got her Audrey, I'll see you later. Let me know if you need anything."

And like that, Audrey was alone with Harry once again.

"Let me walk you back." Harry said to Audrey, grabbing her hand.

The two made some small talk about Maggie, and Spring Break on the way back. When they got to Harry's street, he stopped.

"So, you live on W 5th, and I live right down this street. I could just drop you off at your place, or we could go to mine. It's awfully cold."

"Harry, you know this week really isn't great. I mean I'm towards the end of my period but still."

"I literally do not care."

"Harry-"

"Come on, Audrey"

She was so weak when he said her name.

"Fine."

But Audrey knew this was probably a bad idea.

//

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLO FRIENDS! ANY QUESTIONS??

I'm trying not to make Harry as too big of an asshhole!! 

kudos and comments are appreciated!


	18. Chapter 18

Harry lead the way upstairs, holding Audrey's hand as she followed closely behind him. Audrey tried to be silent but she was so nervous it felt like every step she took she was popping balloons under feet. 

Going into his bedroom, Audrey scanned the dark room from the door way. It was a typical guy's room, dark sheets (neatly she noted) on his double bed, a dresser with a matching nightstand, and some posters in his room. There was also a guitar in the corner, a multi talented man. Audrey hoped to hear him play one day. 

She didn't realize what Harry was doing until she started to see lights flicker on his dresser. 

Candles? For a hook up?

Harry returned to her, grabbing her waist. She could feel that he was already slightly ready to go. That made Audrey smile but feel wildly uncomfortable at the same time. 

"Is this okay?" Harry asked, leaning in towards her ear. 

"Yes," Audrey said, ready to go herself. 

Harry smiled and kissed her gently, slowly starting to pick up speed, trying to find the right rhythm between the two of them. It was always so easy. 

He turned Audrey so her back faced the bed and slowly pushed her over. He pulled her legs onto the bed and climbed on top of her. 

Audrey's mind was all over the place. She wanted this so bad, she needed it, but she was so afraid of letting go. It took her so long to build these walls, and she didn't want to start over if Harry never spoke to her again. 

She was so afraid to show Harry her body, her breasts were nothing but skin, her stomach was extended, and her hips were covered in a layer of fat that Audrey has never been able to lose no matter how hard she ran or how heavy she lifted. 

He kissed her deeply, and Audrey felt herself slipping. She kissed back, she couldn't resist anymore. There was something about the way their bodies move together that drove her wild, and him too, from what she could tell. 

She tugged at his shirt, taking it off revealing a chest full of tattoos. She stopped, her hands tracing the butterfly in the middle of his torso. The two tattoos she saw peaking from his shirt were two swallows. 

It was beautiful. 

"What?" Harry asked, confused as to why she stopped. 

"Uh sorry, I just- I like your tattoos."

"Thank you", he kissed her neck.

He took of her shirt, and their bodies were touching. She tugged at his pants, and Harry helped her take them off. She returned the favor when he tugged at her jeans. 

Their bodies were in exact rhythm and motion that they are supposed to be in, desperate to be a part of each other. She gently tugged at his curly hair as he kissed down her neck, leaving a bit of a pinch wherever his lips touched. 

Audrey's breathe hitched, as Harry knew exactly the right spots to hit. She didn't notice when he took off her bra and started kissing her chest. When she felt his mouth on her breasts, she was nervous, but he didn't seem to mind. And that made Audrey feel better, but she knew it was a matter of time until he realized and wouldn't want to go back to her again. 

By this point, he was hard as a rock. Audrey flipped him over and began to go down on him, knowing this was the part that made her the most nervous. She never knew if she was good at this, she was always second guessing herself, wondering if her partner was enjoying themselves. 

She did her best not to think about it, she used her tongue ring to her advantage, and he seemed to like it. He grabbed her hair and slowly rocked her head. 

"Fuc-ck", his breathe hitched, and Audrey could begin to taste, knowing he was almost there. 

It was taking a quite awhile and Audrey was getting nervous she wasn't doing it right. 

"I'm too drunk I think, I am so sorry. This is great - fuck. Please don't stop."

Audrey kept going, but Harry wasn't giving. 

"I'm drunk. Fuck!"

"That's okay, we don't have to keep going." Audrey said. 

"No, I wanted to. You felt so good. It was so good, ugh fuck."

Audrey was sitting up, covering her chest trying not to think about her stomach as she sat on top of him. 

Suddenly, Harry flipped her over, pulled down her painted, and was face deep in her. 

Audrey didn't even get a chance to remind him she was on her period. It felt so good, she was practically panting. 

And then, suddenly his face shot up. 

"Oh, fuck" Harry said. 

There was blood on his face. 

"Oh, oh shit. I'm so sorry. I'm- oh my god." 

Audrey could see a little bit of blood on his bed too. 

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. 

"I'm going to go get cleaned up. You can use the bathroom across the hall."

Mortified, Audrey ran to the bathroom, trying to hold back tears. She wiped herself off with some wet toilet paper and ran back to his room and gathered her clothes. 

She was frantic. She thought about running out of his house without a word. 

Audrey had just bled on Harry's face. Talk about ruining a mood. 

Before she could escape unnoticed, Harry came back in. He must have put on his boxers before he went to the bathroom and Audrey didn't notice. 

He stood in front of her, in nothing but his boxers. Audrey was left speechless about the man that stood in front of her. He was flawless. 

She tried not to burst out in tears from embarrassment. 

"Alright, I'm really so-"

And before she could apologize, Harry pulled her close and kissed her head. 

"Hey it happens. At least you had fun, right?"

"Yes," and the two of them stood there silently, but not uncomfortably. 

"I'm going to go tonight. I'll see you around."

"You can stay, if you want."

She wanted to, but she needed to go home and clean herself up properly. She didn't know how much of her period was left and she didn't want to risk bleeding out again. 

"I want to, don't get me wrong, but I think I'm going to go tonight."

"Okay," Harry didn't argue. 

Audrey couldn't help but feel like he only offered for her to stay out of pure pity. That he didn't want her to stay but that he was trying to diffuse an awkward situation. 

She felt like she'd be invading. Plus, she didn't know if Zayn was still around somewhere. She thought he left already, but she didn't want to take any chances in the morning. 

Harry walked her out and kissed her goodbye. 

When Audrey was outside, she checked her phone. It was after 3:00am and she was walking home alone. 

She was alone in the bitter March air, but the cold felt good. She tried to fight a scream and a cry all at the same time. The cold air helped fill her lungs when she felt like she was gasping for air. 

She replayed the scene of blood on Harry's face in endless misery. It happened so quickly, but she was so embarrassed. And now, she would be alone for an entire week, with nothing but the thought running through her mind over Spring Break. 

Harry was never going to talk to her again. She blew it. 

//

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED A LIL SPICE. I don't like getting too graphic and I don't like using a lot of the words associated with ~s3x~ 

Votes? Comments? Please!


	19. Chapter 19

March 8th, 2018 - Friday

Fighting the urge to scream and cry, Audrey couldn't help but laugh. Her life was a series of unfortunate events, one after the other. She was at a loss, she just didn't know what to do anymore.

Why did she bother trying if this was always the way it was going to end? 

Crawling into bed, Audrey let out a heavy sigh. She was too tired to even cry or feel embarrassed anymore. All she wanted was to sleep. 

When she woke up in the morning, she realized it was almost 10:00am and was the latest she had slept in awhile. The sun was shining through her window, and Audrey almost forgot about the night before for a minute. The mornings were always so peaceful. 

Audrey went through the motions of her daily morning routine. She hadn't gained any physical weight, but the weight of her world weighed down on her. Her body hurt from trying to hold the bricks of the walls she built in place, but for everyone she fixed, another one would come undone. 

Harry knocked out one break, and the pressure from inside of her began to escape, tang the other bricks with her. Her walls were so sealed, and now they were falling apart around her.

Heading downstairs, she could hear Nikki and Ryan in the kitchen. Audrey didn't mind Ryan, she was very comfortable around him.

"Good morning!" they said in unison, while they made pancakes, "Coffee is fresh."

Nikki was the only person Audrey let use her coffee pot. 

"Ugh, thank you."

"You slept in late, what time are you leaving today?" Nikki asked.

"I'm not sure, whenever I wrap up at the gym and pack up my stuff. I guess mid-afternoon. I'm in no rush to get home. I don't even think my mom will be home."

"Oh, that makes sense. Why did you sleep in so late? Very unlike you."

Audrey remembered Nikki and Ryan weren't there last night when she met Harry on the street corner.

"It's a long story... Harry and I -"

"We got time! I need to hear this. You were at Harry's last night? Let's go sit in the dining room."

The three of them moved to the dining room, Audrey with her coffee and Ryan and Nikki with their pancakes. Audrey wished she could be so comfortably to casually eat pancakes without thinking about it all day. 

"So, what happened?"

Audrey sipped her coffee and sighed, "I apologize in advanced for the TMI, but Ryan you're just going to have to deal with it."

"No problem, I want to here about Harry boy!" Rob laughed, munching on his stack of pancakes.

"So basically, well, okay. So as you saw at O'Malley's us hooking up. He asked me to go back again, which would have been fine but I was at the end of my period and didn't want to."

"Oh no." Ryan laughed.

"So yeah, well then Maggie fell at the corner of Weberly, and of course Harry was strolling by. Neeva took Maggie home and Harry walked me back but then we got to his road. He said he didn't mind, and I just don't know what happened."

Audrey took a sip of her coffee.

"It was great, everything was totally fine. He could't really keep it up and was taking forever, but he kept saying he was too drunk. Without warning, he went down on me. And well, a few minutes later, he stopped. There was blood on his face."

Nikki and Ryan just looked at Audrey. Then they started laughing.

"Audrey, you're kidding right? Oh my god, I am so sorry that happened. But there's no need to be embarrassed, you told him! He needs to be a man! He knew what he would be getting himself into. He's 22 years old!" Nikki exclaimed.

"Oh, that's nasty." Ryan said.

"Okay, Ryan, I don't have many guy friends. If that happened to you, with a hook up, a girl you've been tailing all semester, what would you think?"

"Yeah, that's gross."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I think so. But Nikki is right, he knew what he was getting himself into. This is his own fault! But yeah, still kind of bad."

"Would you call her again?"

"I'm not sure."

"Great!"

Great. Audrey was mortified all over again. She had thought it would maybe be okay, but after hearing what Ryan thought she wasn't so sure.

"Oh Audrey, don't listen to him. It's whatever. You get to go home for the next week and not bother thinking about him or what happened. We all need a break, its been a long semester."

But that is all Audrey was going to do; think about him. Think about what happened. Replay every second of last night in her mind. Rethink every interaction they've ever had. And then think about how they only have half a semester left. Another brick tumbled to the ground.

"Audrey, I'm serious!"

"I know, I know. I appreciate it. I guess I am just trying not to be absolutely mortified about what happened!" and like a pro, Audrey laughed, an excellent smoke and mirrors performance. She wanted to cry, she was shook inside.

_____________________________________________________________________

The only part of going home Audrey enjoyed was listening to her music uninterrupted with two hours. She put her playlist on, sang her heart out, and forgot about everything for a little while. She imagined the wildest scenarios in her mind, to the imagery of the song, mainly all about Harry.

She loved the daydreams, it helped her get through just another day. She imagined a passionate romance to Halsey's 'Colors.' She imagined a reconnecting with Harry, an old lover, to 'No Faith In Brooklyn' by Hoodie Allen. Harry and her were always the main characters.

She couldn't help herself. Her daydreams brought her a sense of comfort, but left her with a sense of longing when she was no longer dreaming. Her daydreams were better than her real dreams; she rarely had those, she was always too tired. She was also able to control her daydreams, they were whatever she wanted.

She wasn't thrilled to be home, but Nikki was right, they all needed a break. It had been a long semester. The comfort of home came upon her, but then she remembered it was going to be a long week with her mother. Audrey and her mom weren't close. Growing up, Audrey was never close to her parents.

Audrey's father was an alcoholic and died of cancer when she was sixteen. Audrey's mother was beyond neurotic, driven by the anxiety of her life; leaving her child in the care of an alcoholic while she worked. It was a broken home, and Audrey tried to remain strong. 

She did well in school and she never talked about her home life, but that's all she knew. Get good grades, and go to college. Audrey's parents never fostered her talents, they never fostered her passions, Audrey didn't even know what those would be if you asked her tomorrow. She loved school, but she loved school because she was good at it, and she wasn't home, whether that was high school or college.

Not only was Audrey not that close with her mom, her mom and her didn't always get along. Typical mother-daughter arguments, but there was a part of Audrey that felt suffocated at home. She couldn't be herself, whenever her mom was home, she felt like she didn't have her own space. Her home was Banksmith University, and even her time there was ending.

______________________________________________________________

Audrey and her mother drove to Florida to stay with Audrey's grandmother. They left Sunday morning, and Audrey was glad to be in the warm Florida sun for a week. Audrey enjoyed being at her grandmother's house, it had always been her summer escape; away from her alcoholic father, away from the weight a young child was forced to carry.

Audrey spent the whole week hoping for any sort of communication from Harry. She posted some stories hoping he'd reply. Silence.

She hoped maybe he'd text her just to say 'hi'. Silence.

He posted some stories during the week, him and his acapella group at some bars or geared up for their performances. Audrey thought about all the girls he probably took home during the week. Audrey constantly checked his bitmoji on Snapmap all week, and just like he said he was, he was in Virginia. 

She wondered if he checked hers. She wondered if he even thought about her.

_________________________________________________________________

March 18th, 2018 - Sunday

And just like that, the week was over. Spring break had ended and the girls had returned to their home on W 5th. Just like the beginning of the semester, Audrey opened the doors to find the girls in the living in their usual spots. No Ryan, no Cal, just the five of them.

Home.

After some small talk and laughs, Audrey headed upstairs around 10:00pm, a bit late for her, but she missed her friends and wanted to hear some stories about their Spring Break adventures. 

She missed her bed and she was relieved to be crawling into it. Audrey's thoughts went over her Monday routine, looking forward to getting back into it. She tried to ignore the thoughts of Harry, even though she spent all week thinking about him. 

However, Audrey wasn't as nervous as she'd thought she'd be for tomorrow. She just didn't have the energy.

//

HELLLLLLLLLLLO!!! i've been appreciating the comments and votes and would really love feedback!!

If anyone ever has any questions about the story vs what actually happened to me in real life... please let me know!! I'm trying to keep it as accurate as possible, but thats going to have to change ahead of the ending :)


	20. Chapter 20

March 19th, 2018 - Monday

7:00am as if Audrey never left. She spent just over a week away and she missed waking up to the light peering through her bedroom window. Mornings were still cold, but by now, the afternoons had begun to warm up as spring began to slowly emerge from the long winter. Audrey could smell the beginning of spring, as the breeze made its way through her opened window.

There was still old snow on the ground, the kind that stuck around long after the last storm, melting little by little each day, soiled with patches of dirt from cars driving by. This was Audrey's least favorite time of year. 

Audrey grabbed her phone, checking for any new notifications. When she hit the unlock button, she had only one notification.

"Harry Styles sent you a snap!"

No fucking way. No fucking way did Harry booty call Audrey a week after she bled on his face. There was no way this was real, he had to be making fun of her. Also, they just got back from break, and he was drinking already? Damn, acapella guys go hard.

Audrey wasn't sure if this made her more or less nervous to go to class. She hasn't seen or heard from Harry since that night before break, except for right now. Does this mean he wanted to see her? Does this mean he didn't care what happened last week? Could Harry ever want anything more with Audrey?

Audrey didn't know what to feel.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Heading to class, Audrey tried to keep a low profile. She was pretty sunburned from Florida, her skin still a bit red and puffy, her chest starting to peel. She wore a light sweatshirt and her favorite pair of leggings.

When Audrey walked into class, the desks were in the shape of U towards the front of the classroom.

"What's this?" she asked Phoebe.

"Looks like Professor Blume is going to try to make the class more conversational and discussion based for the second half of the semester."

"Oh, nice." Audrey sat down, knowing she would have to look Harry directly in the eyes every class. She hoped he didn't sit opposite of her, but he likely would. Niall and Louis were already in class and sitting across from Phoebe and Audrey.

At this point, Audrey has forgotten entirely about Liam. She no longer feels uncomfortable about what had happened between them. It was nothing compared to the situation with her and Harry. She wonder if Liam knew, she wondered if any of them knew.

"How was your break?" Audrey asked Phoebe as she sat down. 

"It was good! I didn't do the big senior trip, I went snowboarding instead. Last of the season. What about you?"

"Oh, that's awesome! Yeah, I didn't go either. I was in Florida with family. Maggie, Nikki, and them all went. It sounded like they had fun. I was just glad to be somewhere warm."

The girls laughed, and Audrey spotted Harry walking through the door. It looked like as if he spent some time in the sun too over the last week. He rolled his sleeves up and could see the golden tan on his forearms. His piercing green eyes stuck out as his face also got some color. 

Audrey smiled at him as he took his seat, secretly hoping she'd get any sort of public acknowledgement back, but also wanting to hide under an invisible cloak. 

"Welcome back everyone! Hope you all had a fun, but safe spring break!" Professor Blume meant so well, but she was still so young. She knew exactly what happened over Spring Breaks. 

The class laughed a bit.

"For the rest of the semester we will be sitting in this new arrangement. I want us to have more opened dialogue and felt limited by the last set up."

Audrey was really enjoying the class, and she wished she felt more comfortable to participate. In any other circumstance she would always a have a discussion point. Audrey thought the readings were so interested and wanted to discuss the ideology of tourism. Was it harmful or helpful? Did tourist shaped the landscape or is the location in itself enough?

But Audrey spent the whole class shifting in her seat. Wanting to be noticed, without really being seen. Audrey was actually more uncomfortable than she thought she would be.

But Audrey was also getting tired of the late night Sunday booty calls. She wasn't awake at 1:30am on a Sunday, and she didn't think she ever would be. She certainly wasn't going to stay awake to wait for something that might not even come. 

Audrey knew she wanted to be more to Harry than he probably wanted with her, and that was her own fault. She wasn't a hopeless romantic, but she just wanted one person to be different. For things to work out differently.

This was different, but not in the way she expected. She didn't want to be used, she wanted to be loved, even though she didn't even know what that meant.

When they were alone, it felt, different. It didn't feel like Audrey's past experiences, but Harry barely even acknowledged her outside the bedroom or the bar. He could at least say Hi.

Audrey felt crazy, ridiculous. But Audrey didn't want to spend her last semester chasing something, just to find out at the end it never existed. If this continued, she would have to ask Harry. She would have to find out for herself, even if she didn't like the answer.

When Audrey went to work on Wednesday, she looked up the acapella concert and competition schedule. She also found out they live stream the concert and competitions. Audrey watched with a curious eye, hoping to get a glimpse of Harry.

The first concert she watched while at work at True Barre, she had on at very low volume as she did homework. She couldn't miss Harry's voice. It was like nothing else she had heard before. His slow, deep dreamy voice hit every note, and adjusted for every song. He was a natural born singer. 

This schedule also told her if and when Harry would be in class or if he was traveling. It would also tell her if she'd likely see him out on a Thursday or Friday night. Audrey needed to figure out what was going on between them one way or another. Audrey knew how to place herself in the right place and right time.

Audrey hadn't been feeling right over the last few days after returning from break. With only half a semester, Audrey feared what was to come. She had no job, no boyfriend, and absolutely nothing to look forward to post graduation. It scared her. 

Every thought in her mind was taken up by Harry, as her body was weighed down with the stresses of being a senior. Jobs, expectations, growing up. Audrey had to face reality one of these days, she couldn't live in her world of daydreams forever. 

//

i was very tired writing this and its not my favorite and will likely be revised. I kept it short, just a bridge, a build up for further explorations!!!

Please leave your feedback and honest opinions as well as votes and comments :)


	21. Chapter 21

March 22nd, 2018 - Thursday

The first Thursday after Spring Break and everyone was ready to get back to O'Malley's. With only a few weeks left of senior year, no matter how redundant O'Malley's was beginning to get, everyone still went. Everyone wanted to hold on to the freedom they had left, before the real world came. Before real responsibilities became priority, before a job demanded their time, before the future came rushing at them in full speed. Everyone just wanted to hold on a little bit longer. 

It was still bitterly cold for late March, and a surprise snow storm came through Tuesday, cancelling classes on Wednesday. By Thursday, there was still plenty of snow on the ground, but no one minded.

Audrey easily slipped back into her evening going out routine, looking forward to having fun tonight. For once, Audrey's mind wasn't focused on Harry. Not seeing him yesterday was relieving, and she wasn't sure she'd even see him out tonight. She told herself she didn't care either way, but she knew she did. 

She didn't bring him up at the pregame, avoiding trying to sound like a broken record. Her and Harry weren't dating, they were just in this bizarre state of limbo where neither of them really communicated, but they couldn't resist the chemistry. 

Audrey headed downstairs to make herself a drink. She hung out with Ryan, Cal and Sophia for a bit until the rest of the girls joined them. 

"Let's get this party STARTED! My party people!" Maggie yelled, coming down the stairs. 

Audrey tried to hold on to the joy as tight as she could, trying to push out the waves of sadness when she looked at her friends, knowing she was going to miss this. 

"I want to get to the bar before dollar drinks end tonight. We're going wild tonight!" Maggie continues as she entered the living room to join everyone. 

It was just about 10:00pm, and they would've heading to O'Malley's soon. 

Audrey was beginning to feel the alcohol, lifting her spirits, lowering her inhibitions, she was ready for some fun, and for the first time in awhile, her mind wasn't preoccupied with Harry. She focused on her friends instead. And she was happy with that. 

Heading to O'Malley's, Audrey knew she'd be in for a long night. She was already drunk when she got there, and she felt good. She didn't feel insecure, she didn't feel invisible, she talked to acquaintances and friends, and everyone in between. Audrey felt on top of the world. 

And the best part was, she didn't even see Harry. She saw some of his friends in the corner of the bar, she thought the saw Josh, but she didn't care. She carried on her with her night as she planned. Dancing, singing, drinking.

But a part of Audrey didn't want to admit that she was watching for Harry out of the corner of her eye. 

Through the night, Audrey bounced around from friend to friend, she always kept moving. She wanted nothing more than to be seen, she was always so tired of being invisible. 

She hung out with Nikki and Maggie, then Tiana and Omar, she saw Shannon for a bit, promising to resume lunch next week cause there had been so many snow days on Wednesdays. She danced with Neeva, sang with Tilly and Holly, and even took a shot with Phoebe, she rarely ever saw Phoebe out. 

All of the sudden, the lights flashed on for last call and Audrey checked her phone. It was just about 1:30am. Audrey knew it's be one of those nights where she stayed until the lights on and they kicked everyone out. She wrapped up the last few songs with Neeva and Maggie, and then the girls made their way home. 

It was just around 2:05am when the girls laughed their way through the front door. They all said goodnight, and Audrey made her way to her room. Audrey lightly stumbled around her room putting on her pajamas. She was drunk, and would probably sleep in but she knew she'd be fine by the AM. She'd probably need a Gatorade but she could fit it in her day if it made her feel better; she joked that it was the nectar of the Gods after a night out. 

Ding. 2:11am. 

Audrey's phone beeped. Her Fitbit buzzed and she looked down to read the screen. 

Harry Styles  
yoooouo 

Moved across the screen. Audrey read it in disbelief, but with a bit of excitement. 

She immediately wondered where he was tonight if he wasn't at O'Malley's. Probably at the casino across from campus, where Audrey interned last summer. He was obviously drunk.

"Hi"

Audrey didn't feel bad about being short with Harry. She knew what he wanted, she didn't have to be overly friendly. 

"can I come over"  
"?"

Audrey knew it was going to be this. But she didn't think he'd want to come over. She's never had a boy in her bedroom before, it was her space and she didn't necessarily like people in it. Plus, she had about two stuffed teddy bears, a Sully plush, and a Jack Skellington plush on her bed. She'd have to hide those, so she stuck them in the extra room next to hers. 

"hmmm I was about to go to sleep"  
"but if you want to"

"yeah"  
"address?"

"531"  
"west fifth"

"coming"

Fuck. What was Audrey doing? Was she really about to let Harry into their house; into her room. She didn't even think twice this time. She just let him coming over. 

"here"

There was no time to second guess herself now. Audrey took a deep breathe, and went downstairs to get the door. She was in a oversized T-shirt and a pair of cute panties, but ones that didn't make her look like she was trying too hard. 

Audrey was glad she was still a little drunk, so she wouldn't be overthinking the entire time. 

She opened the door to find Harry on her doorstep. Black coat, blue jeans, piercing green eyes illuminated from the corner streetlight. Her door was up a few steps, so he looked up at her as she opened the door as if he was seeing her for the first time in weeks. Wide eyed and stunned, maybe even a bit confused. 

"Hi," Audrey smiled.

"Hi," Harry smiled, walking up the stairs. 

Harry didn't bother with the small talk. It didn't even take a second for their lips to find each other. Their lips were pieces of a perfect puzzle, fitting together just the right way. 

When Harry walked in, Audrey threw the door shut. Harry turned her around and pushed her against the door. It never took long for the two of them to find their rhythm. Audrey liked it a little rough. 

After a few minutes, Audrey pulled away, locking the door and leading Harry upstairs. 

"How was your night?"

Audrey didn't want to be just a fuck, she hoped they could at least talk a bit, maybe be friends eventually. 

"It was good. I was at the casino. How about you?"

Harry looked around her small room. He didn't seem like he was judging her, but rather trying to see the pieces of who she was from her bedroom. He took off his coat and left it on the floor. 

The position of her window let in enough moonlight to slightly light the room, creating a spotlight on her bed. 

"Good," Audrey stepped closer and Harry leaned in to continue to kiss her. 

He closed the door behind him, and moved the two of them to her bed. 

With Harry on top of her, Audrey felt so small and she loved it. She pulled off his shirt to reveal his tattoos, with the moonlight shining enough where she could really see them. 

He took off her shirt and followed with his jeans, the two of them were moving fast, but they kept up with each other. They couldn't resist each other, they both had to have more. 

Harry's hands knew all the right spots. Audrey's breathe hitched and Harry kissed her deeper. The pace became slower, but the passion grew stronger. 

Audrey took her turn to pleasure Harry a bit, and then he whispered in her ear. 

"Is this okay? Are you ready?"

Audrey shook her head, yes, and kissed Harry. 

"Do you have protection?"

"Yeah, one sec"

Harry stood up and fumbled with his jeans. She heard him open the wrapper and put the condom on.   
He climbed back under the covers and Audrey pulled him close. 

And for just a moment, Audrey snapped back into reality. This was it. She was going to sleep with Harry. From her last experiences, chances are he'd never talk to her ever again, but there was something different. Maybe it was just the alcohol but Audrey didn't feel as self conscious with Harry.

Audrey used her hand to put Harry inside of her. Another piece of the puzzle solved. He was slow, full of passion, and he moved his hips and Audrey followed. The two of them never out of sync. 

They even moaned at the same time. Harry grabbed Audrey's hand and pushed it up past her pillow as he kissed her neck and rocked her slowly. 

Audrey had never felt like this before. She had never felt loved, only used. She knew this wasn't love, but she also knew a part of Harry had to care for her. He wouldn't be treating her so gently. There wouldn't be this much chemistry. 

Just then, Harry flipped her over. This wasn't Audrey's favorite but if Harry liked it, she would try it. Harry moaned, and Audrey flipped him around this time. He soon flipped her back on her back, playfully, and they continued until they both were finished. 

Harry was on his back and Audrey laid on his chest, tracing the swallows with her finger. He held onto her arm and kissed her forehead. The two of them were silent for a bit. 

"That was incredible, sorry it took me so long. I drank quite a bit tonight."

"No worries, I had fun. I hope you did too. I'm glad you came over."

"I did have fun and I'm glad too. I've been wanting this for awhile."

For a brief moment, Audrey thought that maybe since he got it, he wouldn't want it anymore. She tried to push out the thoughts, enjoying the moment while he could. 

They even fit together when they were laying there. Audrey, so small laying next to Harry, who was so tall, so built. 

If Audrey was asked at the beginning of the semester where'd she be, this certainly wouldn't be her answer. She didn't even know who Harry was a few weeks ago. She still wondered if any of his friends knew or if he was going to tell them. 

Harry lightly drew circles with his fingers in Audrey's arm. Audrey waited until Harry fell asleep and she snuck her t-shirt back on. They both fell asleep under the moonlight with nothing but the silence of the night surrounding them. 

//

DID YALL ENJOY THAT ONE? WERE YOU EXPECTING THAT????

If you've been enjoying please vote and comment it would mean so much!!

Please leave any feedback you might have or please ask me any questions!!


	22. Chapter 22

Audrey woke up extremely early the next day. She was never able to sleep long whenever she had someone beside her. And now this someone was in her bed, in her room, in her space and she had no idea how to wrap her head around it. 

It was about 7:30am, and Audrey only slept about three hours and the sun began shining through her window. She laid half asleep, half awake, with Harry's arm wrapped around her all night. Before he fell asleep, he even searched for her hand with his, and they were still loosely together when she woke up. She tried not to move or shift around too much, as she didn't want to wake Harry up.

Even in his sleep he was beautiful.

She gazed at him, silently, the sun casting a glow on Harry, illuminating the little of his tan left from Spring Break.

Not long after Audrey woke up, Harry began to as well. His hands rubbed up and down her legs, moving to her shoulders and her hips. 

Audrey tried not to squirm when Harry's hand roamed her hips. She always hated that part of her body, but when Harry kissed her neck gently in the morning as he rubbed her hip, she tried to let go of it all.

It wasn't long before the two of them tumbled under the sheets again in the morning. Their bodies easily finding the rhythm from the night before. 

Harry's hands grazed her body, as Audrey sat on his lap. The two of them sitting up, passionately intertwined. The world outside was silent, as if didn't exist, as if nothing existed but them in this moment. 

Audrey went down on Harry, trying to let go of her insecurities, trying to hush the voice in her head telling her she was probably doing it wrong or that Harry wasn't enjoying himself.

Eventually, Harry laid Audrey down, whispering in her ear asking if she was ready. Audrey shook her head as she did last night and kissed Harry. Harry did not hesitate to kiss back. He put the condom on and he gently stroked inside her, coming to his climax rather fast. 

Audrey didn't mind it being quick, she didn't necessarily like having the room so bright, she felt so exposed, but she liked seeing all of Harry' tattoos in the light. She didn't realize how many he actually had.

When they were done, Harry laid there for a bit longer.

"This was great. I'm glad I finally got the chance to see you." Harry smiled at Audrey.

"Yeah, I had fun. I'm exhausted, thanks to you." She teased.

Harry played with Audrey's long blonde hair briefly. A smile plastered across his face.

"I hope we can do this again soon."

"I'd like that."

And for once, Audrey wasn't even lying to herself. She wanted to see Harry again. She felt desired, she felt seen, but she didn't feel uncomfortable.

"I better get going." 

"I'll walk you out."

Harry stood up and got dressed, and Audrey put her t-shirt and underwear back on. They walked to the front door silently.

Before leaving, Harry pulled Audrey in closely for one last kiss. It was nothing more than a kiss, and Audrey was wrapped in Harry's arms. He hugged her tightly before opening the door and walking out.

Audrey closed the door behind him, feeling the cool March air on her bare legs. 

Collapsing to the floor, absolutely smitten over Harry Styles, Audrey's mind raced with scenes from last night and this morning.

"What am I going to do with him, Moscato?" Audrey asked Nikki's hamster, who was kept in the living room. 

Heading back upstairs, the images of the two of them overwhelmed her thoughts, fighting the negative ones. Fighting the ones that would scrutinize every second the two of them spent together.

Audrey laid back in bed for just a little while longer, comforted by the thought of Harry's arms wrapped around her.

Maybe they could be something, she thought, trying not be hopeful, but allowing herself just a slither of hope.

Maybe this was different.

______________________________________________________________________________

March 26th, 2018 - Monday

Another weekend passed, and Audrey didn't go out Friday or Saturday. Her mom's birthday was Saturday and her mom had come to Banksmith for the weekend. They saw the lead singer of The Styx at the casino Event Center. Audrey liked seeing her mom, in small doses.

Monday rolled around, and Audrey didn't wake up to a text from Harry. In fact, she hadn't heard from Harry all weekend. She tried not to read too much into it.

Maybe he didn't go out on Sunday, maybe he was busy this weekend. He didn't owe her anything, but a part of her let that slither of hope grow a little too big. She thought maybe Harry would text her, just so she knew he was thinking about her, the way she thought about him. 

Nervous as usual, Audrey headed to her Tourism class. As usual, Louis and Niall were already in class, followed by Josh and Eleanor. Audrey went to the bathroom before class started, hoping Harry would be there before she got back, this was he sees her walk in. 

Harry and Liam were in their seats, and Audrey took hers. She smiled shyly at Harry from across the room, and she couldn't tell if he was looking at her. When she received no smile back, she assumed otherwise. 

Class carried on as usual, Audrey not participating much, afraid to speak or be judged by her other classmates. And by other classmates, she meant Harry's friends. She didn't know if they knew about her and Harry. The little voice inside her head kept telling her that Harry and them laugh about her when she isn't around.

The weird things she does, how she isn't great in bed. The voices in Audrey's head never failed to remind her of all the negative possibilities.

Audrey did her best to ignore them, but it wasn't until class ended that they became too loud to ignore. 

When class ended, Harry packed up his stuff, and walked out with his friends. 

She thought maybe she saw him glance her way, but she couldn't be sure. She thought she may have seen that look in those green eyes as if to say "I want nothing more than to kiss you right now. Than to hold you, than to talk to you."

But Audrey assumed her mind was playing games with her. Harry didn't say 'hi' or smile at her. He barely presently acknowledged her existence. It was like Audrey didn't even exist. As if Audrey was just another classmate he didn't know. As if Audrey didn't even matter.

Audrey left class confused and her heart ached a bit.

How could Harry have been so gentle, so tender on Friday, but completely disregard her on Monday? 

Audrey had never been hugged or kissed goodbye after a hookup, and she had certainly never been hugged like that. It felt like he didn't want to let go. The moments the two of them had in private would have convinced anyone that they were dating.

Or maybe it was just Audrey making things up in her mind. 

What was she supposed to do?

No, it was real. Audrey wasn't making it up. She had been with plenty of guys. She had let herself be used, she knew what that felt like. She had become numb to it. But with Harry, she finally felt something again. She didn't know what it was, but she knew it was different than her past.

Headphones in to drown out her thoughts, Audrey headed to work. Jet Pack Blues by Fall Out Boy bringing her comfort in a time of confusion. 

Did you ever love her? Do you know?  
Or did you never want to be alone?

//

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL A SHORT ONE BUT A GOOD ONE RIGHT

god i love fall out boy i hope you all love this song too this album got me through a lot

are you all enjoying? please please like and comment :)


	23. Chapter 23

March 28th, 2018 - Wednesday

It was hard to believe it was already almost Easter weekend. Audrey would be going home briefly; her and her mom did not celebrate religiously, but Audrey was forced to keep in touch with her dad's side of the family because her grandmother was still alive. She did it for her grandmother, even though she hasn't had anything in common with her cousins since they were 13. 

But Easter meant the semester was almost over. Audrey tried to ignore the nagging thought, but she still had a full month and a half left. Formal, Senior Week, sorority events for just seniors, she really had so much left to look forward too. 

She tried to fight the sadness, she didn't have a job like many of her friends, she didn't have a plan, she didn't really see a future. 

She had to live in the now.

That Wednesday, Maggie suggested the girls go to karaoke night at Jolly Rogers. O'Malley's was always the go-to place, but lately more people seem to be going to Wednesday night karaoke. That was something that Audrey definitely didn't want to miss, but she was really so tired, as she was all the time.

But she had to do it, her time was running out.

Soon the weather would be nice enough, and people would start going to Madhouse, rather than O'Malley's for the outdoor seating. Things were going to begin to change as seniors began to grow restless and bored of O'Malley's, all itching to start their adult lives, but wanting to enjoy the last of their college days. 

Heading out, the girls didn't know what to expect from Jolly Rogers, but there ended up being a good mix between students and townies. Audrey scanned the crowd for Harry, but there was no sight of him. Why was she always looking for Harry?

Did he ever look for her?

Nothing eventful was happening, other than a townie going absolutely screamo during karaoke. It made for a funny story, but Audrey decided to go home early. She wasn't drinking at all and had let the exhaustion get the best of her.

Audrey didn't mind walking home alone at night. She knew it probably wasn't the safest, but the Banksmith Valley was relatively safe. No one really bothered the college students. She actually enjoyed the nights she walked home alone. She was able to let her mental guard down, she didn't have to hold up her walls or plaster a smile across her face when she didn't want to. 

Thursday rolled around and it was another night out for the girls. Audrey didn't really feel like herself since she hooked up with Harry, and she was afraid it was happening again. Afraid she was being erased, completely ignored and forgotten by Harry. She hoped he didn't regret hooking up with Audrey, that would really break her fragile spirit.

Nonetheless, Audrey put on a smile, went downstairs and hung out with her friends. She decided not to drink again, she wanted to be able to get to the gym at a normal hour, and didn't want to have to skip a meal. She was so hungry, so tired.

She was also going home at some point on Friday and didn't want to be groggy driving.

Another Thursday night at the bar, and no sign of Harry. All of Audrey's friends were drunk, but she laughed along as if she didn't mind. Another trick she's learned to perfect. She was glad her friends do not question when she decides not to drink. She was glad her friends are understanding, but sometimes its makes her think if they notice at all.

Audrey tried not to show just how much the situation with Harry was affecting her. She laughed about the situation they were in, laughed when her friends called him an idiot, or ragged on him, but Harry consumed Audrey's mind. 

She sat in class, crawling out of her skin, not knowing if his friends knew that he had touched her so gently. Not wanting to draw attention to herself in class, afraid she may say something stupid or he may try to be playful in the middle of class. She would go red, and be absolutely flustered in front of everyone. They may not know, but she knew the silence between them was louder than ever.

She hoped to get a glimpse of him no matter where she went. She still watched some of his acapella shows when they were streaming just to hear him sing. She hoped to hear it in private one day. She definitely couldn't go to a school acapella show, then he'd really think she was a creep.

Friday morning rolled around, Audrey weighed herself and headed to the gym, routinely. It was still chilly, but considerably warmer. She traded her heavy winter jacket for light NorthFace, she was looking forward to when she'd be able to run outside again.

When she began walking on the treadmill, she opened Snapchat, looking at the snapmap. 

She didn't like what she saw.

Harry's bitmoji was on Greek Hill, at the Chi Alpha Pi sorority.

Harry was with another girl last night. 

She hovered over his bitmoji.

Last seen 6 hours ago.

It was around 9:00am, which meant he last opened Snapchat around 3:00am. There was no way Harry was just 'hanging' out with the Chi Alpha girls. Harry was always with his acapella boys, and only Josh really hung out with Eleanor.

He wasn't at the bar last night, which meant acapella may have had a party.

Audrey put her phone away and started running, but thoughts of Harry with someone else filled her head.

She really was replaceable. 

Audrey knew what was happening between them wasn't love. She wasn't stupid, but she really thought maybe this was the hook up she had always heard her friends talk about. That casually on-dial hook up, but the one that also went to date parties, and actually enjoyed spending time with them.

But a guy like Harry has girls on rotation. 

A guy like Harry could get anyone he wanted.

He was Harry Styles after all.

After her run, Audrey tried to ignore the snapap, but she couldn't resist, she check again.

Last seen 7 hours ago.

Still there, ugh.

She wrapped up and headed home to shower and get ready for the weekend.

It was around 10:30am by the time Audrey got out of the shower. She checked again.

Last seen 20 minutes ago.

He was still at the Chi Alpha house. What was he doing there? When he was with Audrey, he left early in the morning, almost as if he didn't want to be seen.

Now its mid-morning, and he's still there? What did whoever he was with have that Audrey didn't?

She put her phone away and tried to ignore it. She tried to forget, but she was hurting. 

She really thought this may have been different. Her heart ached a bit, but it was nothing she wasn't used to. How could she be so foolish?

She headed home, hoping to leave the thought of Harry behind.

________________________________________________________________

March 31st, 2018 - Saturday

Audrey's mom worked for the personal stylist at Jacey's. Prom season was approaching, and they were desperate for models, and naturally Audrey's mom roped her into it, without asking Audrey of course.

Audrey had to walk around Jacey's in a prom dress, promoting the prom event the store was having. 

"guys this is so embarassing"

She texted LBD.

"can y'all please like the posts on @mystylejaceys so my mom gets brownie points with her boss?"

Their conversations were brief, the girls teased Audrey but told her how beautiful she looked.

She wish she saw what they saw. She wished she believed them.

But since her hair and make up were done, Audrey took it as an opportunity to spruce up her Instagram, craving for the validation she got from the likes on her post.

Her likes significantly increased when she lost the weight, confirming everything she thought about herself. People would only like her if she was skinny. She wished she could like herself enough.

zaynmalik liked your photo.

Audrey forget he followed her. She wondered if he knew about the rest of the semester with her and Harry.

_________________________________________________________________

April 1st, 2018 - Sunday

After Easter festivities ended, Audrey was antsy to get back to school. Too much time with her mom over the past few weeks, Audrey would definitely not be going home for awhile.

To no surprise, the girls were all where they usually were after returning from a weekend home. Right in the living room. All except Sophia, who was coming back in the early AM before classes. Sophia enjoyed family time, and celebrated Easter religiously. 

"Back in the DIRTY B" Nikki exclaimed when Audrey walked through the door.

"I'm HOME!" Audrey yelled walking in.

Audrey had a weird sense of deja vu, but she knew this was the normal routine. They didn't even have to talk about it. See you in the living room when we all get back. Their New Year's balloon was still floating after all this time. They were all kind of surprised. 

They all chatted for awhile, and then Nikki brought up Harry.

"Do you think he'll text you tonight? Have you heard from him since you did the dirty?"

Nikki, always a way with words.

"No, I haven't heard from him," she didn't tell her friends about Friday morning, "but if he texts me tonight I'm going to be shocked. Sir, its literally the Lord's Day." 

Everyone was laughing.

"Oh my god, if he booty calls you on Easter Sunday, that's fucking hysterical." laughed Maggie.

"I can't even with this boy. I'm not religious, but like come on."

"He's going to do it. I can feel it. Stupid boy wants to get his dick wet, he's not going to pass it up."

"You're probably right, Nikki. But like still, its the Lord's Day! Like cmon!"

But Audrey figured he'd call his new friend at Chi Alpha. She figured he was done with her.

He got what he wanted, he took a piece of her, and ran away with it. 

Who knows what he did with it.

//

yallllllllllll are incredible. almost 1k reads im so shocked... thank you all!! 

i hope you are all enjoying!!! i wanted to also let you know that this is a self love journey for audrey too :)

you'll see :)

PLEASE VOTE COMMENT AND SHARE!!


	24. Chapter 24

April 2nd, 2018 - Monday

It was raining outside, and Audrey almost overslept since there was no sun shining through her window like there usually was.

Audrey loved rainy days, but she only loved them when she could sit in the library all day and focus on her work and listen to her music. She didn't like when she had to go to class in the rain, and she certainly didn't like the cold rain. Spring was on the brink of emerging, but it just needed a little more time. 

Audrey, usually awake before her alarms, begrudgingly stopped them, when she realized she slept through her alarm clock, and woke up to her cell phone alarm.

Rubbing her eyes, Audrey let out a deep sigh, and she already could tell it was just going to be one of those days. She was going to have to go to class, sit across from Harry, and pretend like she was just fine. 

She checked her phone, not expecting anything new.

"Harry Styles sent you a snap!" 12:46am.

Shut the fuck up. 

Audrey dropped her phone and rubbed her eyes. She had to have imagined that.

But she didn't. There it was, a notification from none other than Harry Styles. A booty call on Easter Sunday. 

She didn't even wait this time to send to LBD.

"guys woke up to an easter treat"

She sent the screenshot. 

"LMAOOO LIKE CMON WTF"

None of her friends were awake yet, except Tiana who worked at True Barre on Mondays.

"omg"

The bad day Audrey thought she was going to have just turned around. She genuinely couldn't stop laughing.

Harry's relentless desperation on Sunday nights was becoming a running joke, rather comical for her and her friends. 

But Audrey was just glad to know that at least she crosses Harry's mind every so often. Enough for him to want to see her. That made her smile, as she tried to ignore the truth of it. 

She was being used.

She made her way to the gym after her cup of coffee and laughed to herself the entire way there. The thought of Harry not leaving her mind. 

____________________________________

"I told you so" Audrey heard Nikki yell from her usual spot in the dining room when she walked through the door.

"Sto-ooooop, I know. This is getting ridiculous but its hysterical."

"I wonder what makes him get the hots for you on Sunday nights."

"I think its the only day the acapella team can really do anything, since they have practice so often."

"Oh, that makes sense. But like still, go to bed."

"You'd think he'd realize by now that I am literally not awake."

"Don't you guys have class today? Does he think you're just going to go over, hook up, and then like see each other in class a few hours later? That's so awkward."

"I know, I have literally no idea what's going on. I wouldn't really say we were friends either."

"What an arrogant son of bitch."

"Yeah, I don't know. I am going to go get ready for class. I'll be back down in a bit."

"Okay, see ya soon. I'll be here."

Nikki went back to her work and Audry headed upstairs.

____________________________________

When Audrey got to Penn Lab, she saw Sophia in the lobby. There was still some time before class started so they two of them chatted briefly. 

While they were talking, Audrey saw Louis, Niall, Liam, and Josh walk in, followed by Harry. Audrey tensed up, but this was no new feeling for her. She spent everyday in class uncomfortably tense.

When she went into the classroom, Audrey put her stuff down and headed to the bathroom to freshen up a bit. 

Penn Lab was older, but her classroom was right near the newly renovated part of the building. The bathroom was down a hall and around a corner. They were two gender neutral bathrooms. 

Audrey slipped in one, and when she opened the door to leave, she was startled by what she saw.

Harry, standing on the other side of the hall, facing the two bathrooms.

"Oh, woah-hey, how are you?" Audrey said shly, almost inaudibly as she tried to pull herself together.

"Hey," Harry took a step closer, "you look good today."

This was the first interaction Audrey has had with Harry sober, other than when she asked him to date party, but she didn't really count that.

"Uh, thanks." 

Audrey wanted to scream, she could feel her face getting red.

"Listen, I want to see you again soon. I've been so wrapped up with acapella, but I had fun the other night."

Audrey was silent. 

"We have like five minutes before class starts." 

The look in Harry's eyes said everything Audrey needed to know. 

Without even realizing what she was doing, Audrey let Harry guide her back into the bathroom.

He kissed her lips hard, arms wrapped around her waist, he shut the door and pushed her against it.

They have yet to speak sober, and now they were hooking up in the bathroom before class started.

Audrey didn't have the mental capacity to comprehend what was happening, but she knew she liked it.

How on earth did they get here?

Audrey kissed back, hands roaming Harry's body. She could feel the muscle through his shirt. She wished they could do more. 

After a few minutes, Harry pulled away. 

"I'll let you go back to class first."

They were both a bit out of breath, but Audrey collected herself and headed back to class, unable to fully comprehend what had just happened. 

"guys i just fucking hooked up with harry in the bathroom of penn lab"

"now we have to sit here in class like nothing happened"

"we just made out but like fml"

"what?"

"???"

"audrey WHAT"

Her friends were blowing up her phone. There was no way she was going to be able to focus today.

"guys i literally have no idea"

"he must have saw me go to the bathroom when i came out he was just there"

"audrey wtf???"

"that's INCREDIBLE"

"you are my HERO"

"guys I have no fucking idea what to do???"

"im shajign" 

Audrey was shaking so much her texts were illegible. 

Harry came back, and class continued as if nothing happened. 

Audrey has absolutely no idea what to do with herself. 

//

YALLS SUPPORT HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!

Please keep reading voting and commenting I appreciate it so much :)


	25. Chapter 25

April 2nd, 2018 - Monday

Audrey carried on to work, trying to process what happened before class. She couldn't even decide if what had happened between her and Harry was reality or if her daydreams were really starting to get the best of her.

The rest of the day she was in a fog. A complete and utter state of dissociation. She had to have imagined it, she had to have been dreaming. But she could still feel the trace of his hands on her body, the taste of his lips on hers. 

The way Harry looked at Audrey, with those green piercing eyes. He looked at her like he saw her, like he wanted all of her. This was so different from anything she had experienced before. Guys would look at her, but they wouldn't see her. They didn't bother to look past what was about to happen. 

Sex. 

With Harry, he looked at her as if he craved her. As if his mind spun as much as hers did. 

Except Harry's actions didn't show the same thing. He didn't talk to Audrey, other than when he wanted a piece of her. There was little causal conversation, little connection, but the chemistry was unfathomable. 

Audrey wanted more from Harry; she wanted answers, she wanted to clarify what the hell was going on. She didn't want to be used again, and she couldn't shake the feeling that there could really be something more between them. 

There was something so different about the way he held her, the way he looked at her, the way their bodies moved together that this couldn't be just sex. It wasn't love, but it sure the hell wasn't nothing. 

But Audrey couldn't ask, not yet at least. She barely knew whether every time the two of them hooked up if it would be the last. It was so toxic, but Audrey couldn't resist. 

Every time Harry even looked at her was like a shot of adrenaline coursing through her veins. When the high subsided, she was left craving more. She had to admit, Harry's desire for her drove her wild and she enjoyed it, but when it was over and Audrey was left questioning every moment of the interaction, the crash was unbearable. 

Her mind spun in uncertainty. Was she just dumb enough to fall for his stupid tricks? Is her own mind telling her things that aren't true? Has she fantasized so much that she's confusing dreams with reality? Did Harry even really care about Audrey or was he just another stupid boy? 

Audrey needed to know, but she didn't know how to ask.

—————————————————————————  
April 4th, 2018 - Wednesday

It's like Monday hadn't even happened. Harry barely looked at Audrey in class, and Audrey was getting tired of this. 

Audrey came to the conclusion that this was nothing but a joke to Harry and his friends. 

She wanted to enjoy the class, but she felt as if every word she spoke or every move she made would give Harry and his friends more fuel to laugh about her. 

She couldn't believe she could be so stupid. 

———————————————————————

After class was over and she finished her shift at True Barre, Audrey had some assignments to work on. 

When she got home she found Nikki and Maggie at the dining room table doing some work. Audrey joined them. 

It was Wednesday night, and Maggie's self proclaimed "Wine Wednesday". 

"Formal is this weekend and I still don't have a date. Wine Wednesday it is. Maybe I'll muster up the confidence to ask someone."

Formal was Saturday. Audrey had done everything she could to forget about it, avoid every conversation around it. She knew she wouldn't have a date and this was her last sorority formal she would be going to. Another step closer to the end. 

"I matched with Eddy Doulh on Tinder," Maggie continued, "God, I'm in love with him. I want to go with him."

"Why don't you ask him!" Audrey was absolutely genuine with her advice to her friends, "what do you have to lose? We graduate and he has another year anyway, doesn't he? You won't see him!"

Audrey knew this is advice she herself would never go through with. But Audrey wanted to see her friends happy.

"He's in my class!"

"Hey, if I've managed Harry Styles all semester, you can certainly manage Eddy Douhl."

Eddy was on the lacrosse team. 

"Maggie, Audrey is right! Who cares?"

"Easy for you to say Nikki! Ryan practically fell in love with you after date party!" Maggie teased. 

Maggie took a big sip of wine. 

"Give me a few more glasses, then maybe."

"Don't you have homework?" Audrey laughed. 

"It's not important stuff. I'll get it done eventually."

"Pour me a drink please" Audrey asked, seeing Nikki was also having a glass of wine. 

Audrey wasn't paying much attention to her assignments anyway. 

"Audrey, are you going to ask Harry?"

"Absolutely not." Audrey said affirmatively, but the alcohol was starting to hit. 

"I mean, I want to, I think we could have fun. But that's not a risk I want to take. I'm sure I'll get the same answer anyway, "practice early"."

Audrey shrugged, sipping her wine. 

"Whether you ask him or not, dude needs to treat you better. You deserve so much better than random booty calls and bathroom hook ups."

Audrey sighed. She knew she didn't deserve that. She never knew how Nikki thought so positively all the time. This was the first guy to ever call her a second time, she wasn't about to risk letting that go. Audrey didn't even think she deserved that much. 

"Ask him!" Maggie yelled, obviously a little drunk. 

"No! I can't. I want to, but I think I may ride formal solo. I don't want to stress about it, I just want to have fun with my friends. Not worry about anything else."

Audrey tried to convince herself that was the truth. That going alone was what she really wanted. Her senior year formal, alone. She wasn't surprised at all. 

"Fuck it, I'm going to do it. I'm going to message Eddy right now."

Maggie pulled out her phone. 

"I mean we only matched a few days ago so it's not weird, right?"

"Honestly, Maggie, it's whatever! Who cares!" Audrey lifted her glass and the girls cheered. 

"Fuck it!"

"Alright, alright, what do I say?"

"Uhhh, I don't know I'm shit at this stuff. Maybe just like 'Hey, my sorority formal is this Saturday, and if you're not busy I was wondering if you'd want to come with me?' Or something. I don't know."

Audrey really wasn't great at things like this. 

"Yeah, Maggie. I think that's fine."

"Ugh, you guys."

Maggie typed. 

"God give me a drink."

Maggie chugged the rest of her glass.

At this point, they were all ignoring their assignments and laughed at stupid stories and funny videos they shared. 

Ding. 

Maggie's phone. 

"Oh fuck! Fuck fuck me!!"

Eddy sent you a message!

"Fuck!!!"

"What did he say?!" 

"Open it!"

The girls yelled. 

"Okay okay guys. I'm not going to be upset if he says no. It's fine, I'll just take Parker. Okay here we go."

"Hey Maggie! Thanks so much for thinking of me! I would totally go, but parents weekend is this weekend and we have a game on Sunday. It's probably best I don't show up hungover out of my mind. I hope you have fun though!"

Maggie sat back in her chair. 

"Ugh, come on! I can't believe I just did that."

"Honestly, whatever! Shake it off you'll have fun with Parker you know that." Nikki tried to remind her. 

"I know, it's really fine. I'm going to have fun with everyone anyway. Eddy is just so cute I can't even."

"I get it Mag, I would do anything for a real date. But we'll have fun!" Audrey wasn't sure if she was trying to reassure Maggie or herself. 

"Yeah you guys are right! I also don't really even know Eddy I was just shooting my shot. I better text Parker."

The girls laughed and drank their wine. But Audrey knew how Maggie felt, but she also knew Maggie didn't take these things as personal as she did. 

Audrey wanted nothing more than to go with Harry to formal. The two of them would look so great together. He was just a bit taller, his dark hair complimenting her blonde hair.

He would meet all her friends at the pregame. They would laugh, talk, drink together. It would be normal. It wouldn't be a secret, it wouldn't be behind closed doors. 

But Harry didn't want her like that. 

No one did.

Audrey looked at the time. It was almost 11:00pm. 

"This was fun, but I'm calling it a night guys."

"Goodnight, Audrey!" Nikki said. 

"Goodnight boo" Maggie chimed in, definitely wine drunk by now. 

"Don't stay up too late now ladies."

Heading upstairs, Audrey tried to tell herself that she was going to do everything she could to enjoy the weekend. Her time at Banksmith was running short. This was her last formal and she didn't want to miss out on truly enjoying it by being sad. 

She's wasted so much time being sad. 

She's wasted so much time on thinking about Harry when he hasn't even thought of her for a minute. 

Heading to bed, Audrey tried to think of all the fun times ahead of her. 

//  
CHAPTER 25 IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I NEEDED A BIT OF A BREAK. GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT!!!

DID YALL MISS ME??

Votes and comments are mucho appreciated :)


	26. Chapter 26

April 7th, 2018 - Saturday

Spring formal. For Audrey, this was a special occasion; it was her last sorority formal. The last time she would get all dressed up with her friends, the last time they would abuse the open bar at Rozie's, and the beginning of the final stretch. 

Formals always marked the upcoming ending of the semester. There was only 4-5 weeks left of classes, and then finals began and soon it would be summer, or for seniors, graduation. 

It was starting to warm up outside, and the days were beginning to get longer. Life was slowly returning to campus; students began to hang in the several campus courtyards and the trees were sprouting green. The snow had completely melted, and it even started to be warm enough for a light jacket during the day. 

The Saturday of formal was a gorgeous Spring day. Audrey woke up early enough to head to the gym, and get some work done before she knew she'd have to meet her friends for their routine Pizza Pizzaz; a fast-casual pizza restaurant the girls always had their pre-date party/formal dinner. 

The girls always went around 4:30pm, just early enough to digest the pizza prior to the pregame. No one wanted to look bloated for pictures. 

Audrey tried to keep her mind off being hungry by focusing on some of the work she had to do, knowing she'd be drinking heavily and having pizza that night. Nothing she wasn't used to. 

She spent the day in the library away from food, friends, and focused on the shit she had to get done so she wouldn't have to worry about it tomorrow. Weekends were always quiet during the day. Most of her friends slept in or caught up on any work they needed to do. 

Audrey was excited for tonight, and she tried not to get hung up on going solo. Leah was going solo too, so she knew she'd have fun with her. And Parker would be there with Maggie, and she'd be surrounded by the rest of her friends; Tiana and Omar, Nikki and Ryan, even Sophia and Cal. 

She was excited for her dress, it was something she'd never imagined herself comfortable enough to wear. The front had two cut outs. He upper rib cage would be exposed, but she was surprised how comfortable she was in it. And she didn't have to worry about looking good for anyone. 

Even though she wanted to look good for one person in particular, Harry. 

The thought of him never escaped her mind. She looked for him everywhere she went, hoping she'd run into him. Hoping they'd cross paths, hoping he'd see her, so he'd have to think about her for even just a moment. 

——————————————————  
3:00pm rolled around and Audrey left the library. Her excitement for the night grew. It was still early spring, and Audrey could tell it would be dark soon.

The girls piled into Tiana's car and made their way to Pizza Pizzaz. The girls all got the personal sized pizza, and Tiana even doubled up with some garlic bread, knowing it would be a long a night. But Audrey got the mini, and was thankful no one questioned her. 

Her friends were preoccupied with chatting about their excitement. 

"So, who's gonna hook up with who tonight? The new pledge class is so fun but such a mess and this is their first formal."

Maggie started off.

"I remember our first formal like yesterday, I was so nervous to get too drunk that I got too drunk and blacked out at the venue." Nikki laughed.

"Oh my god I remember that, our first Rozie's experience!" Audrey laughed. 

"Didn't you go with that random guy? Oh shit, what was his name?" Ned? Ed?" Neeva asked.

"Oh my god, ED," Nikki hid her face, "what a mess. He fell on the dance floor!"

"That was hysterical!" Tiana was practically crying. 

The girls continued to laugh and reminisce. In this moment, Audrey was nothing but happy.

—————————————————————  
6:30pm.

Audrey was almost done getting ready. Formal pregames started at 7:00pm on the dot. A full hour of an off campus pregame before the sober hour at the sorority house ahead of heading to Rozie's.

Friends and friends' dates would be arriving soon, the Jell-O shots were in the fridge waiting for the party to start. Audrey did the finishing touches on her make up, put on her dress, and headed downstairs to find Neeva and Sophia getting the house ready for mess that would be tonight. 

By 7:00pm, drinks were flowing, spirits were high, and nothing could bring Audrey down. She hung out with Leah and her friends, since Audrey's friends were all preoccupied with their dates. 

Leah and Audrey took selfies, and Audrey was a little drunk and posted them on her snap story. She didn't care, she didn't look sloppy and everyone knew what a formal was. No surprise as to what they would all be doing. 

A few minutes later she checked who viewed her sorry. 

22 views.

She scrolled through the list of names and to her surprise, Harry was the first one to view her story. 

Wow that was fast. It's been up for 10 minutes. He rarely ever views my story. 

She was hoping he'd view her story, it was a bit of a thirst trap for him to see it and she was drunk enough to be happy with herself. But she tried to shake it out of her head. Nothing was going to come out of it. 

Snapchat always weirdly reminded her of The Great Gatsby, stories get posted in the hopes of a reply from a special someone. What a bizarre 21st century take on a classic love story. 

Ignoring the thought of Harry, Audrey kept drinking and soon enough they made their way to the house and eventually to Rozie's.  
—————————————-  
It was the end of the night and time to head home. Audrey found herself having a blast. She realized she didn't care that she was alone. The pressure of keeping a date occupied or entertained wasn't there. She could float around friends as she pleased. She didn't have to tell anyone when she was going to the bathroom, she walked around as she pleased.

She felt free, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She was happy, and she was alone. 

But this euphoric high she felt only lasted so long, when the realization of being alone hit her harder than the big yellow school bus that drove them home would. 

On the bus, at the end of the night when everyone was wrapped in their dates arms, she sat alone in her bus seat. She wasn't drunk anymore, just tired, trying to ignore the inevitably creeping loneliness. 

At least they were almost home. 

The bus stopped in front of Baruch Business School and Audrey slowly stumbled her way home. By now her feet hurt, her head hurt, and she just wanted to crawl into her bed. 

She had a great night, she thought to herself, but somehow she knew it would end like this. 

She walked back with Maggie and Neeva, while Sophia and Nikki headed towards their boyfriends' places. 

Maggie, Neeva, and Audrey laughed their way home, talking about how the random guy Neeva got set up with certainly would not be getting another call. He was a mess on the dance floor and Neeva didn't know what to do with herself. 

They were walking through the parking lot next to Louis and Niall's house, when she saw someone walking their way. 

It couldn't fucking be. 

It was Harry. 

It was only around 12:30am, and by now normal parties were going to start to die out soon. But Audrey didn't hear a loud party going on. 

Audrey tried to pull herself together as she gripped her coat tighter with her crossed arms. She tried to keep her head down but there was no way of avoiding this. 

"Oh god, guys I think that's Harry." She whispered. 

As the two got closer, Audrey tried to ignore Harry as they passed each other. She didn't even try to smile. She was so tired of the games Harry played that she didn't see a point of being nice anymore. Even though he's all she wanted. 

It wasn't until she heard her name that she stopped. 

"Audrey?" 

He must have not realized it was her or she was walking faster than she thought cause there was quite a distance between them. 

"Audrey is that you?"

The girls stopped. 

Audrey turned around. 

"Harry?"

"Hey" Harry walked closer, "uh, how are you?"

"We'll catch you at home, Audrey."

"Text us if you need anything."

Maggie and Neeva walked away. Neeva squeezed Audrey's arm before they left.

"See you guys," Audrey squeezed Neeva's hand with hers and turned back to Harry. 

An unspoken, I'm okay, Audrey was always grateful for her friends. 

"Uh, hey I'm good. We just got back from our formal." 

"I saw your story. Did you have fun? You look great."

Audrey blushed, she hated Harry that with three simple words could make her act like a school girl with a crush on the boy at the playground. 

"Thanks, yeah I did. It was great."

"I bet you and your date had fun." Harry put his hands in his pockets. 

He was wearing blue jeans, a flannel, and a backwards black cap. His curls poked out of the side of the hat. Audrey could just see his face in the moonlight and the low dim of the street lights.

"Oh, I didn't really have a date. I just went with my friends. I guess you could say my friend Leah was my date if anything." Audrey awkwardly laughed. 

What did he want?

"Oh cool. Yeah I was just headed home. Me and the boys just chilled tonight. Nothing crazy. We have practice late tomorrow morning rather than early for once."

"Oh, nice."

"Uh, yeah. Well-uh..."

Audrey couldn't read Harry. He wasn't his usual arrogantly confident self. He seemed nervous for some reason.

"Would you want to come back to my place?" Harry asked, rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand. "It's totally fine if not. I could walk you home if you'd like."

Why was he acting like this? So nervous. It was just Audrey. It's like the roles had flipped.

She could smell the beer on his breathe. 

But Harry had this power over Audrey. She couldn't say no. Every opportunity she had to be around Harry she couldn't pass up. Maybe this would be the time something would change between them. She had to give a piece of herself to him, and just maybe he'd stay. 

"Uh, sure. I guess if you're not too busy in the morning."

"Nah, it's cool. I don't have to be anywhere until like 11 tomorrow."

Harry shoulders straightened up, returning to the Harry that Audrey was used to. 

He took her hand and it was like she was watching herself walk with him. 

Why was she doing this again? Everything told her she deserved more but she'd never believe it. She was dying to know what this was that was happening between them.

What were they? What was Harry thinking? Could this ever be something more? Did he feel anything for her or was she just another fuck?

Audrey couldn't believe what she was doing but she let the warmth of his body guide her to his place. 

//  
Next chapter will have some spice to it yallllll

I MISS YOU ALL IM BACK AT WORK FULL TIME IM EXHAUSTED

I WILL UPDATE WEEKENDS!!!!

Please share and comment and vote!!! You all mean so much to me


	27. Chapter 27

Before she knew it, Audrey was at Harry's door step. He didn't fiddle with his keys long before he had the door unlocked, and was leading Audrey up the stairs, her hand in his. 

It was silent between the two of them, but the connection was deafening. 

He held her hand, gently but just firm enough that Audrey knew he cared. That he wanted her there. That he couldn't wait for what was about to happen. 

They made it up the stairs to Harry's room, and without a word, the two of them were inseparable. He closed the door behind her, then pulled her in close. 

One hand ran its fingers through her hair, the other cupped her face. 

Audrey's hand pulled Harry's waist in closed, the other rugged lightly at the soft brown curls on the back of his head. 

Audrey bit at Harry's lip ever so lightly, as he picked her up and moved her to his dresser. 

Audrey sat on his dresser, and became slightly taller than Harry. She tugged at his shirt, and met his lips when they came together. 

Harry paused for a brief moment, he looked at Audrey directly in the eyes.

He didn't say anything. 

Audrey was a bit confused, and just as she was about to ask what was wrong, Harry kissed her, gently; slowing it down between the two of them. 

Their lips met, and the rhythm was slow, but passionate.

Harry kissed hard, resting on hand on her thigh, and the other on her waist. 

Audrey's arms rested on his shoulders as she played with his hair. 

Just then, Harry picked Audrey up and moved her to the bed. He laid her down and wasn't close behind. 

Audrey pulled at the end of Harry's shirt, like begging for him to let her take it off. She wanted to see his tattoos. 

Harry stood up, took off his shirt and pants, and Audrey took of her shoes. 

His room wasn't as clean as the first time she was here but she didn't mind. All that mattered was Harry. 

On top of her, Audrey could feel he would be ready to go soon. 

Harry ran his hands up and down her thighs, starting to push up on her dress. 

Audrey sat up, and started playing with the zipper on her dress. 

It didn't take Harry long to see what she was doing before he tried to help. Audrey stood up, and Harry unzipped the back of her dress.

It fell to the floor. He came behind her, and traced his hand along her right shoulder and arm, kissing the side of her neck. 

"I can't wait to fuck you." He whispered in her ear. 

Without hesitation, Audrey turned around and kiss Harry hard. 

She pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. She leaned in and they continued to make out. 

Harry rolled her over and pulled her in by the legs. 

On top of her, Audrey reached for his shaft underneath his underwear. 

Harry quivered when she touched it. She started stroking gently, and Harry's head shot back. 

"Fuck", his smooth, deep voice was almost too much for Audrey herself. 

She wanted his body on hers. She wanted to feel safe, to feel small, to feel him. 

Harry took off her bra, and began squeezing and sucking her breasts. 

It wouldn't be long until he realized how ugly they were, Audrey thought. He would see they were just skin soon. 

Audrey tried to ignore her self consciousness and just be in the moment. 

He kissed down the middle of her breasts and his hand slipped under her lace thong. 

His hand moved gently and Audrey's back arch. It wasn't long until she was completely naked and Harry was working her up. 

He went down on her, and Audrey moaned. 

It felt so good. 

He felt so right.

Harry came back up and kissed her. 

"You ready?"

Audrey shook her head, yes, and Harry got up to grab a condom. 

Audrey watched as he put it on. He was so tall, so lean, so beautiful. 

There was just enough moonlight that she could see the outline of his body standing there. 

How did she get lucky enough to be with Harry Styles? But why wasn't good enough to be with Harry Styles?

She didn't have time to think about it, as Harry came back over. 

Harry tried to put it in, but Audrey grabbed his penis and lead it to the right spot. He went deep, and Audrey's back arched and she audibly moaned. 

She reached for his body, wanting to pull him closer. 

Harry had a steady rhythm, leaning in to kiss her every so often while loaning himself. She bit his neck lightly, and it drove Harry nuts. 

He picked up the speed, but eventually began to move slower, but deeper. 

Audrey knew he was almost there but she didn't mind, she felt good too. 

He lifted her legs on top of his shoulders and hit all the right spots. 

It didn't take Harry long to finish, and when he did, he kissed Audrey hard, and was still. 

A hand gently cupped her face, and the other on her waist. He kissed her and she wanted to live in this moment forever. 

It was beautiful, passionate, nothing like she'd ever experienced before. This couldn't be just a hook up. 

The chemistry between them was too powerful for a hookup. It was something more but Audrey didn't know what. Audrey didn't want to bring it up. She didn't want to ruin the moment. 

She knew she'd have to find out sometime soon, but now wasn't the time. 

Harry pulled out of her, the after shocks running through both their bodies. He put on a pair of boxers and gave Audrey one of his t-shirts. 

He laid back into bed and pulled her closely. He kissed her neck from behind, and Audrey fit just right into his embrace. 

"Mmm, didya have fun?" Harry asked. 

"Mmhmm," Audrey hummed. 

"I had a lot of fun," Harry kissed her neck again, "I'm so glad I met you."

Audrey was silent, she didn't know what to say. She adjusted her body a bit, and pulled the arm wrapped around her tighter. 

She couldn't believe this moment, she didn't want to let it go. 

But she'd have to bring it up soon, she'd have to risk it all to know what they were. 

//

WE LOVE A SMUTTY CHAPTER!!! Had to throw a little bit of fun into there... I've realized I'm writing a slow burner 

Hope you enjoyed!!!!


End file.
